Saying Goodbye
by MydnytAngel
Summary: the aftermath of Buffy's death. not a normal Gift story. Rewrite of season 6 along with it.
1. Chapter 1

Dawn walked over to a broken Spike; he had been limping before she saw him collapse to the ground. Being strong for him, for Buffy was proving to be a lot harder than she thought. Especially when she saw how crushed Spike was. He really did love her, and now he would never get the chance to prove it to her. "Spike, we need to get you inside," she said, tears evident in her voice. She pressed her hand to her abdomen, trying to put pressure on her wounds that cost her sister her life. She couldn't lose him too. "The sun will be coming up soon."

Spike looked up at what was left of his unlife. Dawn was his whole world now. She was all he had left. "I know," he said, pushing himself to his feet. He could feel all his broken bones grating together and his leg was definitely shattered. "You alright?" His throat felt raw and raspy, but still full of sincerity. Dawn looked so tired and weary.

"No," she said weakly, fighting back tears, her last attempt to be strong. "I just wanna go home." She needed to go home. They both did.

Spike nodded and wrapped an arm around her petite body, clinging to her tightly, fearing the world would fade away. His purpose, his promise to Buffy was to protect Dawn and he had failed. But he would make sure that never happened again. Together, they trudged home, with slow and painful steps, both thinking about the same person that neither were ready to talk about.

A little while later, back at her empty home, Dawn was sitting on the coffee table cleaning Spike's head wound; it wasn't as bad as it had looked earlier. i _Then again_ /i , she thought, i _it might be half healed already. He has speed healing right? Just like Buff_… /i She didn't realize she was crying until Spike wiped a stray tear away for her.

"Nibblet, it'll be okay," he said in a choked voice. He'd been fighting back his own tears, trying to be strong, be there for Dawn. His attempt was failing fast. He desperately wanted to do what Buffy asked of him, but he didn't know if he could. It was getting harder and harder by the moment.

She put the bandage on his forehead and tried to block out her recent thoughts. "I don't think it will," she whimpered. "She's gone. Really gone."

He gently pulled her into his lap while tears slid from his eyes. "I'm gonna be here for you. Always. I'm gonna keep my promise this time. I'll take care of you. Bu-" He paused, not wanting to say her name. It was too painful to actually say her name and admit she was really gone, really dead. "She would have wanted that. Couldn't leave even if I wanted to."

She nodded against him. "I miss her already."

"I know. Me too. Why don't you… uh… try and get some sleep?" he whispered with a shaky voice while holding her tighter against his chest in an effort to comfort them both and unable to let her go quite just yet.

Dawn got more comfortable in his lap, trying not to irritate his injuries more than they were. And though she was till crying; she fell asleep as soon as her head rested against his chest. The end of the world really took a lot out of her, and he hoped she'd stay sleep without having nightmares about the reality of what happened tonight. He knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep, not any peaceful sleep that is. His leg was broken, which would need to set as soon as possible, but it didn't compare to he pain of his broken heart.

Meanwhile, Willow called Angel, who made his way to Sunnydale in record time; no doubt breaking the speed limit all the way. He stood in front of the Summers' house for a few moments before making his way inside to see Dawn and Spike asleep on the couch, both obviously exhausted. Spike opened his eyes, obviously having sensed the other vampire presence.

"Angel?" he asked in confusion.

Angel went over and crouched next to him. "How you holding up?" he asked in a low voice. His childes sunken, distraught eyes almost maded his blood run cold. He had never seen Spike so upset. Not ever.

"Not too well." He glanced at the girl resting in his arms. "But at least she's sleeping peacefully now." That was all he could ask for right now. That Dawn was in peace. Even if for such a short time. It gave him some time to get himself under control.

"I'll take her upstairs and then you and I can talk." Angel could feel his own pain starting to eat away at him, but it seemed like Spike might need someone to talk to. He could put their differences aside. It wouldn't be right for them to fight on the morning of her death.

He shook his head. "I got it." He didn't want anyone else near her. Despite the grating of his broken ribs and messed up leg, he took the sleeping girl upstairs to her room. With some hesitation, he kissed her forehead and went back down the stairs. It killed him to leave her alone for even a minute.

Spike found Angel in the kitchen, his large frame making the room look almost tiny. "Who told you?" he asked, leaning his weight against the counter next to where Angel was standing. He carefully eased his body onto the stool to position his body. With a pop, crack and a groan, he righted the bone, setting the mangled ligaments back into proper place, so it could begin healing correctly.

"Willow," Angel answered, turning toward him. "And she told me that you would be here and why. I just expected more than what I'm seeing from you. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and now it just seems like you're shutting down." That was the last thing he needed. Someone like Spike needed to get their emotions out in the open. It wouldn't do any good for Spike to become distant.

"I have to be strong for the Nibblet. Buffy told me to protect her and I failed her once already. Never again," he vowed in a fierce whisper. He'd kill anyone who tired to hurt her. Even if that meant killing Angel or one of her friends. No one would take her away from him.

"This is gonna eat away at you," he said, quietly. He didn't know about Spike's promise, but knew the guilt was going to kill him. Buffy wouldn't want that. Angel didn't want that. He didn't make Spike into a master vampire for him to ripped down like this.

"What do you want me to do, Angel? I've lived for over a hundred years, made it through all the pain you and Dru dished out but nothing has ever felt this awful!" His temper flared, tears falling down his cheeks in a steady stream. "I don't know if I can live without her!"

Angel frowned. "I know." he said. "But you need to, Spike. Dawn needs you." Hell, he was missing Buffy, felt like the world had stopped on its axis when hearing the news. "Buffy wouldn't want anyone to throw their life away for her. She died so you could live."

Spike angrily wiped at his eyes. "You aren't the one that's responsible for her death, now are you?" he growled. "So it's different."

Resting a hand on his back, he did his best to reassure. "I don't know what happened in the end, but I now for damn sure none of her friends would have let you live if you were responsible. Or that Dawn would trust you like she does."

Spike shook his head, the rest of his body wracked with sobs. "They should have killed me," he whispered. "It'd be so much better than this."

The next day was the funeral. It was arranged to be held at dusk so Angel and Spike could attend. Everyone went to the church Giles had picked for the wake in order to say their final goodbyes to Buffy, but aside from Giles, no one could bear to go to the burial, it was just too painful.

Spike stayed with Dawn during the wake and she'd clung to him, crying until she'd worn herself out. When it came her turn to say goodbye, he pushed Giles and Angel from the room but lingered in the back in case she needed him. The young girl simply wanted her privacy so she could say farewell to her sister in peace.

Dawn approached the mahogany casket and sniffled. Her sister was dressed in a white gown, washing out her pale face. Her hair was spread out on the white pillow like a halo, which fit her perfectly. She definitely was an angel.

"Buffy, I know you can hear me. I miss you, but I'm gonna live for you and be strong. I know you're watching over me and I hope to make you proud." Tears slid from her eyes. "Spike's gonna take care of me and we're gonna make it. We'll be okay. I love you," she whispered then kissed Buffy's forehead. She didn't know what else to say. She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but failed.

She made her way back to Spike's arms as Angel entered the room to take his turn. He knew Spike wanted to go last and respected that. She buried her face in his chest as more tears fell. He didn't say any reassuring words because there was nothing he could say to take away the pain. Nothing would make her feel better right now and so silence was best.

Angel sighed raggedly as he looked at the fallen slayer. "Buffy, I love you so much. I know you're in a good place and I also know that you loved Spike. I could feel it. I'm gonna make sure that he gets through this. I promise. He really loves you and… I'm okay with that. I know nothing is ever gonna be the same without you." He ran his hand over her face. "I should've been here, even though you didn't call me. I wasn't even in this dimension so I didn't know until Willow told me. God, this isn't right." He said as tears leaked down his cheeks. "Why? It shouldn't have been you." Quietly wiping away the wet evidence of his sorrow, he leaned down to give her one last kiss.

A few minutes later, Angel walked back to Spike and Dawn. "I'll take her," he said. They had decided that it would be for the best if she didn't witness the moment when they lowered Buffy's coffin into the ground. It had taken some effort to convince Spike that it would be okay if Angel took Dawn home.

Spike nodded. "I'll be home soon," he said, squeezing Dawn's hand. "Try to get some rest." She needed her sleep. He knew she probably wouldn't, but he had to try.

Angel nodded and scooped up Dawn who seemed to be in a daze.

Spike slowly made his way up to Buffy. "Hey, Pet. God I'd give anything for you to punch me in the nose right now," he whispered, tears already flowing down his face. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't fast enough, but I tried. I really did. If I could change what happened, I would. It should have been me." He stopped to pause and tried to talk through his choked up throat. "I don't know if I'm gonna make it without you. I'll keep your mates safe and I won't let Dawn out of my sight. I won't let anything happen to her. She's all I have left." He paused to collect himself, determined to continue.

"I love you more than anything and I'm never gonna stop. That might disappoint you but its true. I'm sorry for any pain I caused you. I'm always gonna blame myself for this. Bloody hell, I'm so scared, Buffy. I don't wanna lose Dawn, too. I won't lose her. Your dad or your mates might try and take her away from me, but I'm gonna find a way to get legal custody of her. I don't know if you'll let me, but…" There was a warm breeze and his nostrils filled with Buffy's scent, making him smile a little. "Thank you, Pet. I won't let you down again. Promise." He leaned over and kissed her lips. "I love you," he whispered. He pulled out a stake and placed it in the palm of her hand.

Spike tried to smile but failed miserably. He cried, heart-wrenching sobs. "Buffy," he whispered. This was so much harder then he had thought. He couldn't bring himself to leave her. Like she would miraculously open her eyes and punch him in the nose.

Somewhere in a place that felt like a dream, Buffy woke up to a feeling of warmth. She never wanted to wake up if it was. She rubbed her face as she remembered what happened. "Dawn?" She asked, groggily. The last thing she remembered was Dawn on the tower.

"Dawn's fine, Buffy," Came a soft voice that only one woman could possess.

"Mommy?" Buffy asked, sitting up. Her eyes widened at the form of her mother in what could only be the view of an angel. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed her mother. Protecting Dawn from a hell god had pretty much been the focus of her attention. She hadn't worried about anything else. She hadn't really had time to greive.

"Hi, honey," Joyce said, smiling.

Buffy ran over and gave her mom a huge hug. "I missed you so much." Tears slid out of her eyes. She didn't realize how much she had missed her mother. She had been so worried about keeping Dawn safe, that she didn't have time to grieve or worry about anything else. "Dawn."

Joyce hugged her daughter back, before pushing her away. "That was a very brave thing you did," she said, proudly. "You saved her."

Buffy smiled tearfully. "I had to protect her," she said. "She'll be safe now." She remembered she had asked Spike to take care of her sister, but what if Spike didn't make it out? "Is she okay?"

Joyce nodded. "Spike's taking very good care of her. I'm very pleased that you chose him," she said, smiling softly. "He's the best thing in the world that happened to my girls."

"I'm confused," Buffy said, her brows knitting together. "I asked him to protect her. But… he and I... we're more like allies." That's all they had been. He was a pain in her ass, and she couldn't stand him half the time. But a voice in the back of her mind also told her that she couldn't live without him in her life either.

Joyce raised an eyebrow. "He was in love with you Buffy," she said. "And you never gave him a chance. So just close your eyes."

Buffy did as her mother said and saw Spike near her coffin in all his misery and tears. Her heart ached for him; he was devastated. "He's heartbroken," she whispered, opening her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself. She had never seen Spike as upset as he was staring her body. "And he's alone."

"Think you should talk to him, and put him at ease," Joyce said. "You want him to protect Dawn, give him a reason to go back. And your friends have realized what kind of person he's become. For you."

Buffy sighed. She was scared but closed her eyes again. What was she going to say him? When she opened them again, she was standing at the back of the church. Spike was bent over her coffin, shaking as he cried. Tears welled in her own eyes, at how much he really did love her. She could feel it in her bones as soon as her mom sent her back. "Spike?"

Spike's head snapped up and he turned to look at her. "Buffy?" He asked, as she walked up to him from the back of the church. She had to be an angel of some sort. She was glowing, and she had the spark back in her eyes. Heaven would do that he supposed. Or he could just be imaging things.

"Mom said I could come see you for a few minutes," Buffy said, wiping his tears. The look in his eyes was a mixture of such adoration and love that it killed her to know that she couldn't stay.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry," Spike whimpered. That little bit of tenderness, pushed aside all the walls he was rapidly trying to build so he could be strong for her and for Dawn. Some master vampire he was, bawling like a baby over the slayer.

Buffy pulled Spike into her arms. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm okay. And I finally get to rest and be happy." That didn't sound like it would help, but she didn't know what else to say. He would want her to be happy.

Sliding his arms around her waist, he buried his face in her shoulder, hugged her tightly, trying desperately to stop from crying more. He never wanted to let go. How could he?

"Spike, listen to me. Please. Take care of Dawn and tell her I'm in a good place. Tell Giles that you should get custody of her. I know you'll do everything you possibly can for her. " She pulled away a little and leaned her forehead against his. "I know you can do this. So please?

"When you go back say hi to your mum for me," Spike said, sniffling.

"I will. I have to go now," she said, reluctantly heading back toward the light. She paused and went back to him. She leaned up and kissed him passionately. "Stay strong for me."

Spike smiled as best as he could. "I love you, Buffy." And he always would. And he would stay strong for her. He would find the strength to continue without her.

"Goodbye, William," she whispered, going toward the light.

Spike smiled. "Good bye, Buffy," he said, leaving without looking at her corpse. That wasn't Buffy anymore. Buffy was going to be alright.

When he walked out the door of the main parlor, he heard Dawn's sobs coming from the living room and hurriedly made his way to her. Seeing Buffy, her spirit, had made him feel better. It brought some comfort and closure to help him understand that he was capable of helping Dawn, of caring for her as Buffy had asked.

"Where is Spike?" Dawn whimpered.

"I'm right here, Nibblet," he said, standing in the doorway.

She quickly got up from the couch where Tara was making a futile effort to make her feel better, and went straight into his arms, hugging him tightly

"Shhh, now. Go upstairs and get cleaned up," he said, pushing her hair out of her face. "I'll be up in a minute." He watched as she trudged upstairs reluctantly.

Angel came up to him. "You okay?''

Spike nodded. "You wanna do me a favor? I need blood but I'm not willing to leave Dawn right now." Not ever.

"Sure. I got it, no problem. I'll be back soon." And he promptly headed for the front door to leave.

Spike addressed all her friends next and asked them to leave so he could have some alone time with Dawn. They left without an arguement. They were all to tired to really have a confrontation or to care. Everyone just wanted to go home and grieve.

"Spike, don't worry about patrol. Just focus on Dawn," Giles said, watching all the other scoobies walk down the side walk.

"She spoke to me," Spike said his voice barely above a whisper. "She came and… she spoke to me."

"Buffy?" Giles asked, head cocked to the side. "What did she say?"

"Said she wanted me to have full legal custody of Dawn… take care of her."

"Well, ahem. In that case, I-I'll take care of it, make the necessary arrangements" He nodded. "Do try and get some sleep, won't you?"

"I will," he said before nodding back at the older Brit, waiting until he'd left before turning to go upstairs to find Dawn lying on Buffy's bed. "Nibblet?"

"Spike?" She asked in a small voice.

Taking his duster and boots off, he slid into the bed next her, sitting with his back against the headboard while she laid her head on his thigh. "Shhh. It'll be okay," he said in a soothing voice, stroking her hair compassionately. He hummed softly, a tune his mother used to sing to him, hoping it would lull her into sleep. It did. And soon he joined her, eyes lowering until at last he was deep in slumber. Only time would tell if things would get better for either of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Spike walked through the front door and slammed it shut. "Dawn!" he yelled frantically. That girl was going to be the death of him. "Dawn, are you here?"

Upstairs, Buffy jumped at someone's angry voice.

"It's okay," Dawn said, hurriedly. "I have to go. He's going to kill me." She gave Buffy a reassuring smile and ran downstairs.

Spike slumped against the door in relief as he saw Dawn appear. "Thank God," he said. His heart had been in his throat with worry. He couldn't lose Dawn, too.

Dawn stood in front of him. "I'm so sorry," she mumbled, eyes wide. She really was sorry.

Spike pushed himself upright and wrapped his arms around her slender frame. "Never do that again," he said, holding her tight. "If anything had happened to you, I don't know what I'd have done." Pulling away, he kissed her forehead and asked, "Where did you go? You scared me half to death - or - more to death. Do you know how worried I was?" He could see that she something had happened, it was in her eyes.

Dawn's eyes filled with tears. "Spike, I have to tell you something," she whispered.

Spike frowned. "Hey," he said, running the pads of his thumbs under her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I just don't want you to be mad at me," Dawn said, her hands clutching his coat. "I didn't mean to run off like that. Well, I did, but I didn't want you to be worried. I just… I had something I had to do. Alone." _Please understand._

Spike sniffed. "Nibblet, you smell like her." _Well, duh, Dawn smelled like her sister._

"I know," Dawn said, looking down. How in the world was she going to explain this to Spike?

Buffy quietly came down the stairs, and paused at the scene in front of her. She recognized Spike, but she wasn't sure what she felt. Spike was here. In her house - with Dawn - like he said he would be. After… however long she'd been gone.

Spike put his finger under Dawn's chin. "Hey, it's okay," he said, gently. "You should get to bed. It's been a long night."

"I have tell you something, though," Dawn insisted. "It's important."

Spike frowned and then he noticed Buffy on the stairs. "Red patched up the 'bot real quick," he said.

Buffy came down the rest stairs, until she was standing next to Dawn. No reason to hide once Spike had noticed her. But he had said something about a 'bot? What was a 'bot? A robot?

Dawn looked back and forth between them. "Spike?" How could he not know the difference? He should know the difference. He loves this one.

Spike wasn't paying attention, because he already knew his mistake. His arms dropped away from Dawn.

"What did you do?" he asked, not able to tear his eyes away from Buffy. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her hair was pulled into a pony tail and she was wearing a crisp white shirt and slacks. He looked into her eyes and something was wrong. She looked… sad?

"It wasn't me. I found her," Dawn babbled. "I swear. That's why I ran off. The Buffybot said she saw her and I had to be sure. I couldn't… I couldn't just leave her if she was alive. And she is."

Spike looked back at Dawn and put his hand on her shoulder. "You did a brave thing," he said. His eyes traveled to Buffy's hands. "We need to get those fixed."

"I'll get bandages," Dawn said, disappearing into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Spike gently took Buffy's hand and led her to the couch. She sat down and he sat across from her, on the coffee table. Spike had no idea how he was going to do this. Inside, he was doing back flips at having Buffy in front of him, but she seemed scared and he didn't want to make it worse. He had no idea what she had been through. No reason to make things more traumatic for her.

Spike examined the damage to Buffy's hands. There was dirt embedded in the cuts. How did she get so much dirt on her hands? He pushed the thought aside and glanced up at her and the look in her eyes broke his heart. "It's okay," he said, gently.

Buffy's eyes filled with tears at his kind words. She didn't know what he was talking about but nothing was okay. Not to her.

Spike's eyes also began to fill with tears and as he knelt in front of her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Please don't cry, Buffy," he whispered. He didn't care if she wanted him to hug her or not, he just had to hold her. He was so selfish. He didn't give a rot if she staked him on the spot. But, she didn't do that. Instead, her arms went around his neck and she sobbed on his shoulder. Spike had never heard such anguish, especially not from Buffy. Even Dawn hadn't sounded like this when Buffy died. Of course, Dawn was trying to be strong for everyone. She only cried in private… well, with Spike, in private. He knew that whatever she went through was hell, literally. He couldn't bear the sound of her tears and made a promise to himself to help her out as much as possibe.

Dawn entered with bandages and disinfectant. Tears came to her eyes as she looked at her sister in Spike's arms.

Suddenly the front door banged opened and the gang rushed in. "Dawn?" Willow asked.

Dawn looked over at them. "Quiet," she growled softly. "Spike and Buffy are having a moment."

The Scoobies stared wide-eyed at the couple, who were ignoring everyone around them.

Spike eventually calmed Buffy down by rubbing calming circles on her back. He couldn't believe that he was holding her. He never wanted to let go. He didn't want to lose her again.

Dawn went over and sat next to them. "Spike," she said, softly.

"Sorry," he said, looking at Dawn sheepishly.

"Don't apologize," Dawn said, setting the bandages on the coffee table. "I just want to get her hands cleaned up."

Spike gently pushed Buffy away and said, "Gotta fix your hands, luv," as he ran his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

Buffy nodded and hiccupped. She hadn't said a word since she'd gotten back to the house. She was just confused. Dawn had said she wasn't in hell, but everyone was looking at her strangely. The people in the background, who she recognized as her friends, had anxious smiles on their faces, especially Anya. She wasn't sure why. No one was really happy.

Spike soaked a cotton ball in antiseptic, and carefully swabbed Buffy's knuckles.

Buffy whimpered and flinched at the sting, but let Spike finish, tolerating the pain.

"Where…" Her throat felt dry and rough. "Where am I?"

Spike looked up from his task. "You don't know where you are?" he asked. "This is your house."

Buffy started to pull away from him and he gripped her wrists. "It's okay," he said. "Don't worry about that right now." He eased his grip and applied the bandages. They would probably heal by the next day, but it was going to hurt. He stayed seated as the gang pounced on her.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Were you in hell?"

"Anya!"

"She's probably hungry."

"Pizza."

"Stop!" Buffy screeched, startling everyone. "Please, just stop," she whimpered, burying her face in her hands.

"Guys, back off," Dawn said, coming to her sister's rescue.

"Sorry Dawn," Xander said. He had the decency to look sheepish and everyone took a step back.

Spike gently took Buffy's hands away from her face. "Pet?"

Buffy looked at him with a frightened gaze. "Sorry," she whimpered, tears in her eyes.

Spike sat on the couch next to her. "Don't be," he whispered. She was trembling slightly.

Buffy sniffled and leaned against him. "I'm just confused."

Spike wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. Just relax." He didn't expect her to be so comfortable with him. Probably because he wasn't pushing her.

"Spike, you're making her uneasy. Maybe you should leave," Xander said.

"No," Buffy yelled, horrified, as she looked up at Spike. "No, don't leave!"

"I won't," he whispered. "Promise."

Buffy relaxed against him and closed her eyes. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Dawn shooed the gang into the kitchen. "She's tired and confused, as well as scared. Back off and let her try to get back on her feet," she said quietly, taking charge of the pest gang.

"Dawn, she needs us, not Spike," Xander protested. Dawn gathered that he was probably jealous of Spike.

"She wants Spike around. He makes her feel safe. He's had a rough night as well and right now, they both need sleep," Dawn said.

She went back into the living room, to check up on them and found that they were sound asleep on the couch, Spike, on his back, with Buffy tightly wrapped in his arms. Dawn hadn't been lying when she'd said they were both exhausted.

Dawn smiled and turned off the living room lights before going back to the kitchen. "They're sleeping. I'm going to bed, so keep your voices down," she said as she went upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

When Buffy woke, she could tell Spike was already awake and purring softly in her ear. She had never slept on the couch with anyone and she was amazed that her muscles didn't protest at any movement. She never thought the couch was comfortable to even sit on, let alone sleep. "Spike," she mumbled, sleepily. She felt they should talk about things. She wanted to know what had happened while she was away, and she wanted to know how everything had worked out.

"I'm here," he said, stroking her back, where her shirt had ridden up. It was nice to wake up like this. After sleeping on the floor of Dawn's room, keeping her nightmares away, it was nice to wake up with Buffy in his arms. He had only dreamed of something like this. He never thought it possible.

"Thanks for staying," she whispered. She didn't know why, but she was glad that he stayed with her. She didn't realize how much she really needed him in her life. Her emotions were a jumbled mess and she really couldn't feel the same way that she did before she died. It just wasn't the same. "Tell me everything I missed," she requested. She needed to know.

Spike let out a ragged breath and told her about the first few weeks and about the witches moving in. He told her about staying with Dawn, doing what she asked. He told her about Angel's visit, earning an eyebrow raise. He explained that Angel didn't stay long; just long enough for the funeral and to make sure his childe wasn't suicidal.

Buffy sighed. "Sounds like you guys became pretty close." That eased the ache in her heart a little bit. Dawn really needed someone that she could count on. Both of the Summers' girls did.

"Yeah, she was all I had left," he said with a smile. "I tried to do what you asked. And I've done a pretty good job." He paused before he looked at her expectantly. "So where were you while you were gone? Because… when I saw you… I thought that you were happy. I saw the light." He didn't understand why she was miserable. He couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"I was happy," she admitted, with a hint of sadness. "I felt… I felt whole. I felt complete, Spike. Nothing could hurt me, and I didn't have the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore. I could finally rest. I knew you would look after Dawn. I was at peace. I knew I could count on you."

Spike settled back against the couch. "You have to tell your mates," he said. "Considering they think they saved you. Only Giles knew that you spoke to me. They didn't know anything about it."

Buffy shook her head in the negative. "I can't. I don't want everyone telling me how sorry they are."

He shook his head. "Buffy, I didn't know that they were going to do this to you, but I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not happy. I really did miss you but I wouldn't have brought you back to life. But you have to tell them."

"I couldn't stand it, Spike," she said. "I see where you're coming from, but I just can't. Not yet." She wanted to talk to Giles about it first. How could her friends do this to her? "Why did you tell Giles?"

"To help me with the paper work," he said, running his hands through her golden locks. He couldn't believe he had forgotten to tell her that he was Dawn's legal guardian. She had asked him to be, and neither of them had even thought to bring it up as of yet.

Buffy raised an eyebrow. She was confused. "Paper work for what?" She asked. "I'm a little slow and I'm not following."

Spike looked up at her. "You asked me to be Dawn's guardian," he said. "And…Giles helped me get that legalized." He hoped she hadn't changed her mind. It was one of the best things he had ever done for himself and for Dawn. He couldn't risk her getting taken away from him.

"Oh," Buffy said, in surprise. "I didn't think you would really do that. But I'm glad you did." She stared at the cracks in the ceiling for a moment. She was a little surprised that Giles helped. But death must bring everyone together. "It takes a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. How did you do that anyway?"

"Anything for you, Buffy," he said, kissing her temple. "You're not mad are you?" It seemed like she was. She wouldn't look at him for some reason. "I hope you're not. Rupert can fix it when he comes back. He's probably on his way. But we had a law firm in L.A. legalize my identity. The years were just changed. And when they couldn't get a hold of your dad, they agreed."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm okay," she said, looking at him with shining green eyes. "I promise, it's okay. And I'm sure someone called him. I'd like to talk to him about everything." She shivered slightly and huddled back against him. She didn't know why she was so tired all of a sudden but she was. Her eyes closed and she fell asleep. She heard Spike tell her he loved her, but she was out before she could say anything. "But thank you. It means a lot that you guys did that for me."

Six hours later, Giles entered the Summers' home, anxious to see Buffy. He was shocked at the phone call that he received from Willow, and he had gotten on the first flight back to the states. Usually, he would pause in Atlanta, to stretch his legs, but in this case, he needed to get home as soon as possible. Willow ran to meet him at the front and he raised an eyebrow.

"Buffy's sleeping still," Willow explained. "How did you get here so soon?" Giles would definitely be able to sort this all out and get things back to normal. As normal as possible anyways.

"It's been six hours, Willow," Giles answered, walking into the living room and frowning upon seeing his slayer curled up with Spike. He watched as Buffy snuggled closer to Spike. "Is Buffy aware with whom she is sleeping?" It wasn't that he didn't like Spike; he just didn't think things would escalate this quickly. He didn't want Buffy to come back from heaven and just jump into the arms of a vampire.

"Yeah, she was very insistent about Spike staying," Willow said, obviously not thrilled with the situation. "I get that he's Dawn's guardian, but what does that have to do with Buffy."

Giles looked at the red head then focused on his slayer. "Well, I think I'm going to wake her up," he said. He needed some answers himself. Something was definitely off. He was sure his slayer was tired, but it was more important that she wake up and they talk about what happened.

As if someone heard his thoughts, Buffy stirred a few moments later, opened her eyes, and saw her watcher. "Giles," she said, smiling. She looked at Willow who didn't seem to be in a chipper mood. Thank god Giles was here. She needed him. She needed to talk to him. Carefully, she eased herself from Spike's grasp, trying not to wake him and hugged Giles. She breathed in his scent, realizing how much she had missed her watcher.

Giles wrapped his arms around her. "This is remarkable," he said, into her hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. She didn't want to talk in front of anyone, or have any listening ears hearing their conversations. Not even Dawn.

"Of course." This didn't sound good. Maybe she read his mind and would give him the answers before he had to ask the question.

"Guys, don't wake up Spike," Buffy ordered, as she went to the porch with her Watcher. Once they were outside, she turned to him and asked, "I guess Willow called you. Did she tell you she's the one that brought me back?"

"No, but I would have stopped her, had I been here," he replied earnestly. "What's going on around here?"

"Giles, she is using way too much magic," Buffy stated. "She took things too far when she brought me back." There was much more for them to talk about, she just didn't know where to start. She seemed to having that problem a lot lately.

He frowned. "I agree," he said. "I will have to think about how I'm going to bring this up with her. I have been remiss in my duties to Willow all these years." He had under estimated Willow's abilities. He never thought that something like this could have been possible. He cleared his throat and asked the question that was on the forefront of his mind. "May I ask what you were doing, sleeping with Spike?" Giles asked. "Don't get me wrong… I don't have a problem with Spike. I just don't feel comfortable with you two sleeping together so soon after you've been back."

"I feel better," she said, softly. "It's easier, Giles. I don't have another answer. He said you helped him get legal custody of Dawn." She paused and tried to talk past the lump in her throat. "It means a lot that you did that for me.

"He said that was what you wanted and to me it seemed like the best plan." He removed his glasses and polished them before placing them back on his nose. "I cannot say that I approve, Buffy. Another vampire?" Giles pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, closing his eyes. "He's not my first choice for you. But…I suppose I should say be careful. I am happy you are back, Buffy."

"Don't worry, Giles," she muttered. "I don't really want to get into right now. We might not really be anything right now. Just friends. We had a moment at my funeral, but I'm having a really hard time getting everything straight. Every thing's a jumbled mess. I don't know what to do."

They hugged once more and Giles tried to give her some reassuring words. "I'll help you in any way I can," he said. "We'll get this sorted out." Even if Spike was going to stay in the picture. Giles was pretty sure he could live with that.

She nodded before turning to go inside where Spike was still asleep on the couch. She slid back in and Giles watched as Spike pulled her closer to him, He sighed and went to the kitchen, where Willow was sitting at the counter.

"Hey Giles," she said. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"You have no idea what you've done, you foolish girl." He folded his arms and leaned against the sink as he glared at her. Buffy could be emotionally ruined because of this girl.

Willow frowned. "What?" She hadn't been expecting that. Not from Giles.

"You have no idea where she was or what happened to her. As usual, you were reckless and irresponsible." He did not teach her to act like this. She was getting careless. There could be dire consequences of her actions.

"She was in Hell, and I saved her from torture," Willow argued. Why could no one see that she had done the right thing?

"You did no such thing, Willow," he asserted, leaving the kitchen, and returning to the living room. How could she be so stupid? Just by looking in his slayers eyes he could see that something was very, very wrong.

Buffy was running her hands through Spike's hair and smiling, as Giles crouched beside them and asked, "Do you need anything?"

Willow followed Giles into the living room, heedless of the fact that Spike was sleeping. "Giles, I didn't do anything wrong," she said, indignantly. She wasn't just going to be made a fool of when she knew she did a really good thing for Buffy.

"Willow, please be quiet," Buffy said. "You're going to wake up Spike." He needed his sleep. He had probably spent all of last night watching her sleep. He probably hadn't been sleeping well the whole time that she had been gone. She wanted him to rest. He needed it.

"Too late," he muttered from her shoulder. What in the world was the witch twittering on about now? Couldn't he just be left alone with Buffy?

She sighed. "Sorry, Spike."

Spike pushed himself up and carefully eased off the couch. "Not your fault," he said. "What is all the yelling about?" He stretched his arms over his head and eased the kink in all his muscles.

"Giles doesn't think I did something wonderful by bringing her back," Willow said. Spike could back her up. He didn't agree with what she did, but he was ecstatic about Buffy being back. "Tell Giles how happy you are that Buffy's back."

Spike crossed his arms. "I'm very happy that Buffy is back," he admitted. "But not this way. Any number of things could have happened when you brought her back. You could have hurt Dawn or brought something back with her." Not to mention everything else that he knew.

"But I didn't" Willow screamed. "Everyone is fine." How could they be upset with her?

"But for how long Willow?" Giles asked. "Consequences that involve magic take time. You altered the shift in time. There is going to be a long lasting consequence of your actions."

Buffy rubbed her temples and sat up on the couch. She gently grabbed Spike's sleeve. "Can we not yell?" She asked. "My head is starting to hurt." Loud noises and bright lights bothered her eyes. Most of her senses were a little slow. Like a five year old trying to get their bearings again.

Spike sat next to her. "Sorry, Pet," he said, kissing her head. For a brief second in his anger towards Willow, he forgot about Buffy's feelings. He couldn't keep letter that happen. Buffy needed him right now. She needed him to not lose control. He could take his anger on tonight when he went on patrol.

Willow's brows drew together. "Are you guys… like a thing now?" she asked. She hadn't been expecting that. She didn't understand why Buffy all of a sudden accepted Spike in her life like a god of some sort. She rejected her friends, and let a soulless vampire into her life. She prayed that it wasn't too serious. But even if it was, a quick spell was an easy fix.

Buffy looked up at Spike and then at her friend. "We're close," she said. "But it's too soon after me being back to jump into anything." She didn't think it was any business of anyone's but hers and Spike's.

Giles removed his glasses. "Willow, you messed with very dark magic and the price could be consequential. Just keep that in mind when the people around you get hurt," he said.

Spike looked up at Rupert. Buffy must have told him what happened. "I'm taking Buffy up to bed," he announced standing and offering a hand to Buffy. She needed her bed right now.

Buffy took it gratefully and he led her toward the stairs. "Giles," she said, looking at him as she paused at the foot of the stairs. "I want to talk more in the morning. I'm just really tired." She didn't think she would be. But it must be all the emotional stress everyone had her under. She smiled at her watcher as they said goodnight and allowed Spike to lead her up to her room. "Spike?" She did want to ask him a few questions before she went to sleep.

Spike turned to look at her as he closed the door of her room. "What's wrong?"

"Giles said that you live here," she said. She was just stating a point not accusing him of anything or stating it as a question. But she did want all the details about what happened.

"Not really. Just never leave," he answered, shrugging. "Which I guess means I do live here, just never really thought of it like that." His main concern had always been Dawn. He didn't think about anything else. Everything he did was just to make sure that Dawn was going to be okay.

"You know, things don't have to change just because I'm back. You can still be here all the time," she said, looking down, as she sat on the edge of her bed. His presence in the house made it easier for her to be here. She couldn't really imagine him leaving.

He went over to her and crouched down to see her face. "You sure?" The hope was evident in his voice. If she wanted him here, even for a little bit, he would stay. But he didn't want her to feel like she had to let him stay. He could easily visit every night.

She nodded. "I like having you around. Dawn is attached to you, and I don't want to ruin that." Her eyes traveled from the carpet to his face. "I mean, even for a little bit. You don't have to be here all the time. You're free to leave whenever you want."

"Buffy," he said, cutting off her rambling. "I will stay as long as you need me." He gave her a soft smile. "I don't mind."

Buffy threw her arms around his neck excitedly. "Yes!" she exclaimed. Pulling away slightly, she sighed. "Um…tonight you have to come patrolling with me. Have to see if I'm still the Slayer." For all she knew Willow could have botched that up in a heart beat. She hadn't even thought about what she would do if she wasn't the slayer anymore.

Spike smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'm sure you are," he said. He could feel it. At least he hoped he could. He felt a lot of things when he was around Buffy, which only Buffy brought out in him.

"But…what if I'm not?" Buffy asked.

"Then, you're not. Not going to change how I feel," he said, honestly. "Not going to change how anyone feels."

"Promise? I'm just going to be an ordinary girl, Spike." she said. "Will that change anything for us?" She didn't really believe that Spike's feelings would change. She did however believe it would change her relationships with her friends. They only became friends because of slaying. If that wasn't a common factor anymore, then what?

"Now Pet, you'd never be ordinary. Ever since I first saw you, I knew that you were 'The One'. Even without Slayer powers, I'll still love you," he said, smiling down at her. And if she turned out to be just a girl, he would protect her with his unlife. Just like he always had. Nothing could take him away from his girls. No matter what.

"I'm glad you're here," she said, hugging him with a yawn.

"I'll always be here," Spike said If she hadn't figured that out by now, then she needed a wake up call. "Let's get tired slayers into bed, Pet."

Buffy mumbled a protest when he moved but let him lay her back against the pillows. A girl could get used to this. "Where are you going?" She asked, with a sleepy gaze as he stood up.

"To check on the Nibblet," Spike answered. "Make sure everyone leaves and lock up." He sat next to her and brushed a gold strand away from her forehead. "Don't worry. I'll be back up later."

She nodded. "Okay," she said. "Goodnight Spike."

"Night Buffy," he said, kissing her forehead as he stood up. "I'm glad you're home."

She smiled as he left and snuggled deep into her bed. Despite where she was, and how badly she missed it, just maybe this would be okay. She was scared about putting her life back together. Everything was different. She didn't want to have the same pattern that was there before she died. Especially not with Spike. She didn't want him to be an asshole or push how much he loved her. She just wanted the at least be friends and work at that. She wasn't sure she could do anything else. Just lying with him on the couch, was nice. The connection between them was undeniable. But what did she want? Did she want a relationship with Spike? The thoughts died as she slipped into sleep, with a faint smile still on her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Always will be chapter 3

"So, what do you know about finances?" Buffy asked listlessly. The porch was hard, cold, and uncomfortable beneath her bottom, but she didn't care. The growing pain from the unforgiving hard surface was a reprieve from the constant numbness. She almost giggled at the look Spike gave her, as if she had sprouted a second head. The plumber incident this morning had really smacked her in the face; she had not expected to find out that she was broke. She had been dead for months, so why would she have to suffer now? All the money had been sucked away, when she had been gone. What right did her friends have to spend her money?

Spike looked at her. "Why? You got money problems?" His expression went from 'are you crazy' to worry. He had stayed with the Summers' girls for a little bit after Buffy came back. He and Buffy had argued a little bit, because he thought that it would be okay if he went back to his crypt. In truth, he loved being at the Summers' house, but sometimes it was too much. He needed to have his own space again. It was so hard to leave, but he knew it was better if he did.

She seemed to be better, and he said he would still be around. But Buffy had given him hell and accused him of abandoning her. But when all was said and done, she apologized and said she was grateful for what he had done for her. She agreed that it would be better if she was on her own, and she would be fine with him coming around whenever he wanted. Things had been fine since then. Or so he thought.

"Yeah, it's really bad," she said, looking away from his concerned gaze. She felt like their relationship was heading downhill. She wanted them to friends. But since he had gone back to his crypt, things had been different. She didn't really want to think about how much emotion she saw swirling in his blue gaze. However, it was near impossible to avoid. He obviously still loved her, despite his avoidance of her now. She didn't get it. Maybe he really wasn't happy that she was back, but that was a conversation for another time. "How am I the one in debt, when I haven't spent any money?" She wondered.

"It'll be okay. Do you need help?" He asked. "I'll help, if you need me to. I don't want anything to happen to you or Dawn and if you're having debt issues, then I'd like to help you out, if you'll let me?"

Buffy looked at him. "How could i you /i help me?" She didn't mean for her voice to be filled with such disbelief, but she didn't know that Spike had any clue about how to deal with financial issues. They had never talked about how the bills were paid. It had never occurred to her that she would have no money. It apparently never occurred to Spike either. "Why would you want to help? You're the one decided that you should stay away from us."

"It wasn't like that, and you know it, Buffy," he said, softly. "We both knew it was better if I moved out. And, I had to take care of Dawn, when…when you… so I know a thing or two," Spike said, smiling sadly. "But no one ever said anything to me about the money and I didn't keep tabs on who was spending it. I was pretty much just the babysitter and the muscle. Wasn't included in anything, not even the spell."

Buffy smiled back a little as the tension began to ease out of her muscles. "I'm sorry I snapped," she said, softly. "I just miss you being around." Maybe Spike could help her. That's all he had been doing since she came back. She didn't know what she would do without him. They were in the process of transferring guardianship back to Buffy. Both Buffy and Spike decided it would be best. Incase something were to happen. But Spike was next in line incase Buffy died. Again. She was about to comment on her friends' actions when they heard Dawn scream.

Spike was up and through the door in lightning speed. "Dawn!" He tackled the demon and quickly regained his footing. He'd never seen this kind of demon before and it had the worst taste in fashion, its teeth were crooked and it had sharp fingernails. Spike took a fighting stance as the lizard-y looking thing stood up. The spikes down both sides of its forehead looked painful, he'd have to avoid them. He landed a solid right hook to the thing's face, before it sent him flying into the wall, leaving a large hole.

Spike went over to Dawn, who was cowering in the kitchen. "You okay, Nibblet?" He asked, crouching next to her. He hated hearing Dawn scream, and it nearly made him sick with worry knowing she could have been seriously hurt. Buffy was only seconds behind him and she took her frustration out on the ugly demon.

Dawn pushed herself up. "I'm fine, just a little scared. Help Buffy," she told him and winced a little. She just hit her shoulder on the wall or the floor or wherever. Her shoulder hurt, but she would live. Her sister needed Spike's help right now more then she did. And she knew Spike wouldn't voluntarily leave her side unless he was absolutely sure that she was fine.

"You sure?" Spike asked, following Dawn's thoughts. Buffy could handle herself and his first priority was Dawn. His hands reached for her shoulder that the girl was cradling, but Dawn pushed his hands away gently.

"Help Buffy," she repeated, with a reassuring smile. Her shoulder could wait.

"Go upstairs," Spike ordered, running into the living room and he jumped on the demon's back. If she was upstairs, she would be safe and he could concentrate. And so could Buffy.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed. She didn't want any more damage to her house, she couldn't afford to replace much more. How much more could one girl take? She could just imagine the bills that would be piling up now. What else could go wrong now?

Spike snapped the demon's neck and it fell to the floor, and he fixed his attention on Buffy. "There. Now, what were we talking about?" She looked like she was going to crumble any minute. He took a step toward her, panting with unnecessary breaths from the fight.

"My debt," Buffy said, looking around, accessing the damage. The coffee table and a lamp was broken, the banister destroyed and there was a hole in the dining room wall. "Which just got bigger." She didn't really want to talk about missing him. He wasn't coming back. There was nothing she could do about that. And she didn't want to relieve it.

Spike went over to her. "Tomorrow you go out and I'll take care of this mess," he said, softly. He could fix this in a jiff. It wouldn't take long at all. It wouldn't be that expensive either. If you had money, which Buffy didn't.

Buffy gave him a small smile. He was always trying to make things better for her. "Spike, I know you're trying to help, but…"

Spike put a finger over her lips. "I'll take care of it. You need a break, so just trust me." He gave her a hopeful smile. All he wanted was for her to trust him and let him do something for her. To show her that all was alright with them. "Please let me do this for you."

Buffy sighed. "Fine, you win. But whatever you use to pay for this, I'm paying you back," she warned. She would find a way to repay Spike for everything that he was doing for her. Why should he do all this for nothing? Her eyes softened and she felt the connection between them, that she had longed for since he had moved out.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Slayer. Go get some sleep and I'll get this thing out of here," he told her as he gestured to the carcass on the floor. He had wanted to tell her that he missed being around her and the Nibblet. But it was better that they left the arrangement the way it was.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered. Spike looked at her. "Thanks," she said, kissing his cheek tenderly. She smiled at him and went upstairs. Things were definitely getting better. If only she had money, things would be pretty much back to normal. She wanted to tell him what else had been going on since he had left, but she figured it could wait. She was still at odds with Willow, and the witch was giving her a little bit of a cold shoulder. Something was definitely wrong with her friend, she just didn't know what.

Spike stood dazed for a minute and then hauled the demon out of the house. Buffy was actually going to trust him. She was going to let him do something for her, without causing a scene. He didn't see the eyes watching from the top of the staircase as he left. He was too caught up in what could be between him and Buffy.

The next morning, Spike burst through the back door of the house, his black blanket just starting to smoke. He decided to arrive bright and early and make sure Buffy left for the day to relax. And maybe they could talk after this was taken care of. Maybe he would have to stay away from the house anymore.

The slayer in question was in the kitchen, drinking coffee. "Hey, Spike," she greeted him in a calm voice, "Any burns?" She raised an amused eyebrow. She hadn't expected him to show up, but she was very pleased when he did. She missed his company in her house. She had gone up to bed last night and watched him from her window. He had come back to stand beneath her window and she was going to ask him to come inside instead of watching her house all night, but she didn't summon the courage.

"Morning, Pet," Spike responded. "No burns, 'M all good." He tilted his head and his eyes took in her appearance. She looked drained, exhausted. Maybe him leaving hadn't been such a good idea. She looked worse, not better like he had hoped. He knew she didn't sleep very much last night, and was about to ask her why.

Dawn came bounding downstairs interrupting his thoughts. "Hi, Spike," she said, running into the kitchen and giving him a hug. It felt so good to wake up and have Spike here. She had missed him too; missed him taking care of her. Not that she wasn't thrilled that Buffy was back, but she didn't think Spike was going to disappear.

Buffy raised an eyebrow at the two of them. Spike was very… warm towards Dawn. His face just seemed to light up when he saw her and she remembered when he realized Dawn was in danger. She couldn't help but wonder exactly how close they had gotten over the summer. She buried the small twinge of jealousy at the pair's closeness, paying closer attention to the conversation.

"Hey, Nibblet. All your homework done?" He asked. It was so easy to just get back into the routine and make sure that she was taken care of. It wasn't like he just could just give up what he had done for months. And he couldn't deny that he missed his girls desperately. And it was really important that Dawn stay on her best behavior. Anything could bring social services around. And he wasn't going to let that happen. Not on his watch.

"Yes," she answered, "I'll grab something to eat before school. Are you gonna be here when I get home?" Her hopeful eyes widened as she looked at Spike and then at Buffy. She needed him here. He could help her with her homework. Maybe she could help him with his Buffy problem. She could talk to them. Get them talking again. Maybe she could get Spike back into their house.

"Probably," Spike smiled. What he had planned was going to take all afternoon he was sure. And he was sure Buffy would let him stick around. She wasn't that much a bitch anymore. And she seemed to want him around also. That was good for him.

Spike looked over at Buffy after Dawn gave him a hug and said goodbye to them. "What?" he asked, at her raised eyebrow. She looked like she was trying to figure out a puzzle. He looked down at his body. Nope nothing wrong with his clothes or anything.

Buffy shrugged. "Nothing," she said. "Just like watching you two together." She offered him a small smile. "Miss you being here. That's all." She almost cursed herself. She didn't want to talk about that right now. She wanted things to just be okay with them. And they wouldn't be if she kept pressuring him.

Spike shifted uncomfortably. "Well, go out and do something girly. I'm gonna take care of everything, so don't worry," he said. He had wondered what Buffy's reaction would be towards his friendship with Dawn. However, since it had been a habit the past few months, he couldn't just turn it off. He was slightly embarrassed that Buffy had witnessed his softer side with Dawn just now. He really didn't think she had noticed the way he had been, and how much it had hurt him to leave them. He quickly wanted to change the subject before she started asking more questions that he wasn't ready to answer.

Buffy still looked a little skeptical, "Can't I stay and help?" She asked. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was just… she didn't want to go out. She wanted to stay and talk to him, and make sure he was okay. He might need to lift something heavy or something. But that wouldn't work. He had vampire strength. Or he might have a question about the money situation, but he still couldn't ask her, because she didn't know either. There really was no reason for her to stay.

Spike shook his head, "No," he refused, smiling, "Just go have fun for once." He would love for her stay, and be in her company, but he would have to wait for that. He wanted her to have a relaxing day and he didn't want her to worry about anything. He would take care of it all. He wanted her to trust him and let him do this for her.

Buffy grabbed her coat and went to the door, "You sure?" She bit her lip and looked up at him. "I'll stay if you need me to." If she stayed maybe they could talk. Maybe they could get tings sorted out with them. Maybe she could get him to move back into the house. After getting rid of Willow and Tara, it was lonely without Spike.

Spike rolled his eyes, "Just give me the keys to the SUV," he requested. "And please just let me do this for you Buffy." He held out his hands and gave her a soft smile. "I promise you won't regret this."

"They are in the top drawer in the kitchen," she said, "Don't crash the car." She was just teasing him. She knew he would behave. She sighed but opened the door. "I'll be back." She gave him a soft smile and one last pleading look but she did finally leave. She knew that what he was doing was going to be worth it. He wouldn't do anything less then extraordinary for her. Not in her time of need.

Buffy went to the park, she actually enjoyed just relaxing, and being by herself, it gave her time to contemplate her life. Spike… he seemed to have become a very important part of her life. She trusted him. Believe it or not, she actually loved having him around. But what did that mean? What was going to happen with them? Could she allow it to be more then friendship? She really wasn't sure. She knew she missed him, she desperately needed his presence. Life was so much harder without him. She could function if Spike was in her life. When he didn't want to be around, she felt alone. But she hated relying on people. She just wanted to okay, and she usually only was when Spike was around. But she didn't know what that meant. She didn't know how to handle it.

When Buffy came home, she was in awe of the house, "Spike," she said, softly. Her eyes widened as she looked around. Spike really came through for her. She couldn't… where did he get the money to fix all of this stuff? How had her mom always fixed the house? She had trashed it many times.

Spike came out of the kitchen, "You like it?" He asked, giving her a smile. He had a few obstacles along the way, mostly trying to shop for Buffy's tastes, but he must have done a good job. He figured anything was good as long as it wasn't broken or some outrageous neon color.

Buffy looked around her living room. There was a new coffee table and lamp in place of the broken ones and the broken banister and door were good as new. "I don't know what to say." He had done everything. She was speechless.

"There's more," Spike said. He ran his hand over his blonde head nervously. This was the part he knew she would be the most surprised about, but would feel the most guilty as well. He knew she would give him a hard time about it, even though it was already done.

"What else did you do?" Buffy asked. What else could he do? He had done more then she could ever ask for. She rubbed her arms but met his eyes. He seemed nervous, she couldn't even begin to imagine why.

"I found a bunch of papers laying on the desk in the living room. It looked like someone was trying to help you out to see how much you owe," he whispered, "I paid all the bills that I could find though." He shifted on his feet nervously. He wanted to help her, make sure she was safe. But he didn't want her to feel any kind of obligation to pay him back. That's not what he wanted. It gave him enough to know that he took care of her.

Buffy's eyes widened, "How?" That wasn't exactly what she wanted to say, but she knew she wanted to jump in his arms and thank him indefinitely. How was she going to pay him back? Her stomach felt it had fallen to the floor. She was safe for now. That was an unbelievable comfort. She had time to find a job and not have a panic attack or a melt down.

"I had a savings account and when your account accumulates interest for 100 years, it gets quite big. I put some of it away for Dawn and you if you wanna go back to school," he answered her. He knew she had loved school, but with her mom being sick and having to run a home, she didn't think she had time. Or the money.

Buffy smiled politely and rested her hand on his arm. "Spike, I can't take your money." But it sounded like it would be a good life. But she didn't want Spike taking care of them. Not on his own. She wanted to help and not be a charity case.

"Buffy, come on. I didn't give you all of it and I transferred the rest of it here. If you need it, I have it for you. I love you and Dawn and 'm gonna take care of you whether you like it or not," he replied stubbornly. He was ready to fight her on this. There was no way in heaven or hell he was going to let his girls work in some hellhole just to make ends meet. Not when he could help.

Buffy looked around at her house, "Spike, this is unbelievable," she stated. She couldn't deny that she needed the money. But what kind of person did that make her if she took his money? She sighed. She could let him do this until she got a decent job. Then she could pay him back.

Spike smiled. "Well, 'm glad you like it. I just want you and Dawn to be happy," he said as he watched her. She looked happy, relieved. Like a huge weight had been taken off her shoulders. He was happy that he had been the one able to do that.

Buffy smiled a little as the phone rang. She made her way to the kitchen and answered it. "Hello…Angel?" Her heart flipped at hearing her ex lovers voice on the phone. Someone must have called him. She was sure it was Wllow.

Spike's head snapped up at his sire's name. He followed Buffy to the kitchen and looked at her expectantly. Dawn had just come home and he had told her what had happened with the house. But he didn't get a chance to tell her everything before Peaches was on the phone. What in the bleeding hell did he want?

Buffy looked at Spike and gave him an apologetic smile. "Ok. Yeah. That's fine. Bye," she said, and hung up. She collapsed on a bar stool and sighed as she rubbed her face. She so didn't need this right now.

Dawn walked in the room and noticed the scowl on Spike's face as he crossed his arms over his chest. "What did Angel want?" She asked, distastefully. She didn't like Angel either and knew that if he came here, he would mess up what was already so fragile in her life.

"He's coming over tonight to visit. He just found out that I was back and wants to see me," Buffy said, laying her head down on the counter. This was not going to go over well. She wasn't going to kick Spike out just because Angel was coming. But she knew one way or the other that Angel would be here; whether or not she told him about Spike. But she needed Spike here. She didn't need Angel here. And he would leave after a few hours.

"Yeah, I bet he does," he muttered. The great poof was on his way, and was going to fill Buffy's head with all kinds of nonsense about how much a monster Spike was. And Spike was fairly certain that Buffy would buy into and kick him to the curb while they played tounsel hockey.

"Spike, I don't want you to leave just because he coming over," she said, going toward him, "Angel is just gonna have to deal." She bit her lip. "He's going to leave after a few hours, and you're still going to be here. I promise you."

Dawn smiled, "So are things back to normal?" She asked. "Can he move back in?" Buffy was reassuring Spike that Angel's visit was nothing more then that. So things had to be better with them. Even with Angel coming, she was sure Buffy and Spike were going to work out.

"Nibblet!" Spike exclaimed. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid for right now. He didn't want to ruin a good day by fighting with his girls. Nor on top of Angel coming. It would be too much for Buffy and she would get stressed out again.

"It's up to Spike," Buffy said, softly as she looked at the floor. There was nothing she wanted more. But Spike seemed to want his space. Maybe he couldn't handle living with her and not have her like he wanted. But she really couldn't be sure.

Dawn raised an eyebrow. "You know… why don't you just kiss and be done with it?" She asked crossing her arms. "Because you know, me, who has to look at the both of you, I'm getting tired of the tension. You guys would be much more happier if you just let yourselves be together." She looked at them pointedly and headed toward the stairs to go her room.

Buffy sighed and looked at Spike. "If you want you can move back in," she whispered. "But I'm not going to force it on you. I want you to be here because you want to be. Not because you think you have to take care of me." She rubbed her face. "I really don't want to deal with him right now either." She headed into the living room leaving Spike to his thoughts. There wasn't much she could do. The house was already clean, thanks to Spike. Yeah, this night was going to be fun.

That night when Angel arrived, Spike was upstairs with Dawn. Buffy had been dreading his arrival, and Spike had pretty much made himself scarce. Exactly what she had told him he didn't have to do. Buffy opened the door when there was a knock. "Hi," she said to Angel with a forced smile.

"Hey," Angel said, engulfing her in a hug. He had told himself that everything was fine, but not to scare her. That was apparently more difficult then the had thought once he saw her right in front of him.

Buffy hugged him back although she was tense. She hated hugs. It felt like she was being suffocated. Especially Angel. He was a broad man, and he towered over her. She should have known he would just jump on her like he was doing. But she didn't say anything to Angel. She just let him hold her.

Angel shut the door and led her to the couch. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. "This is remarkable," he said, grasping her hands in his. "How are you? Are you alright?" She looked tired, drained, scared. All things he wasn't used to seeing in her eyes. It kind of scared him a little.

Buffy smiled. "It is. Angel, we need to talk. The first thing is…" She wanted to tell him straight up that Spike was in her house. She didn't need the macho bullshit right now. She didn't want Angel causing problems. Spike was more then welcome in her home, and she was going to make sure everyone knew it.

Dawn came running downstairs laughing, interrupting Buffy's conversation with Angel. Just what she needed. Of course that wasn't all she got.

"Lil Bit, come back here!" Spike yelled, tearing down the stairs after her and chasing her through the house. So much for his plan to stay upstairs away from Angel. He didn't want to be anywhere near him, or see him making the moves on Buffy. It was just to o much for one vampire to deal with.

Dawn came running into the living room and Buffy stood up, "Hey," she said, "Enough." She raised an eyebrow at the two of them acting like four year olds. She couldn't help as a small smile curved at the top of her lips. At least there was some happiness in her house. It kinda lifted the depressing atmosphere that had settled over her house.

"Buffy, make him stay away from me," Dawn said, breathless. She slid behind her sister, and didn't even acknowledge Angel's presence. She peeked over Buffy's shoulder at the blonde vampire and stuck her tongue out at him.

Buffy looked at Spike as he came into the living room. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Other then acting like a couple of kids." She was trying to scold them like kids, but the smile on her face gave it away. How could she be mad at them for laughing and joking around?

"She started it," Spike said, trying to get a hold of Dawn around Buffy, "Come on, Nibblet. Big Sis can't save you." He smirked at her and vaguely debated in physically removing Buffy from in between them. Not that it would be hard, he just didn't need any problems. He was pretty sure that Angel would start a fight, and he didn't want to add any stress on Buffy.

Dawn stuck her tongue out at him again. "I win," she said. She bounced on her toes in glee as she relaxed her back. She thought Spike was going to try to get her again, but he seemed to let her take the win this time.

Spike backed off. "Fine," he said, going in to the kitchen. "Hungry?"

Dawn went after him. "Starved." And she started squealing, when Spike started tickling her again. "You cheated!" She should have known. "Spike… please."

"You cheated too," Spike said, tickling her mercilessly. "Hiding behind big sis. You know that doesn't work." It felt so good to be laughing and having a light attitude even with Angel's brooding presence in the house. Buffy seemed to be alright too. It made him feel at least a little better that he got her to smile.

Back in the living room, Angel's face was filled with disbelief at the scene he just witnessed. "Why is Spike running around your house?" He asked. His idiotic childe, just chased Buffy's little sister through the house. Tickling her. And Buffy seemed amused. This could not be good.

"He lives here," Buffy said, going into the kitchen. She didn't even think about the answer she had given him. It really wasn't his business. "Alright you two, that's enough." She smiled at Spike with warmth in her eyes, trying to tell him that nothing had changed. Angel was going to leaving and things would be fine.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Spike said, as Angel made his way to the kitchen. Dawn said she was going with him and followed him out to the back porch. She didn't have a desire to stay and be in the presence of a fight between Buffy and Angel. Even though it would be very entertaining.

"Since when does Spike live here?" Angel asked. He folded his arms and glared daggers at Spike's back through the back door. He wanted to go out there and break his neck. This was not what he was expecting. He tried to ignore the way that Buffy looked at his childe, but it seemed to be plastered on her face.

"Since I asked him to. He takes care of Dawn and I, and we have become attached to him," she said, leaning against the counter. "It's not really any of your business." And she didn't want to tell him that she and Spike had had a fight and he had moved out. Only because it seemed like he might move back in. And she didn't need Angel giving her a lecture about how much it wouldn't work, or rubbing it in her face that she couldn't make it work. That was the last thing she needed.

"The both of you?" Angel asked. She just admitted that she liked him. This was not good. He didn't want this kind of life for her. That's why he left. He couldn't give her the kind of life she deserved. And Spike sure as hell couldn't either. How could she not see how bad of an idea this was?

"Angel, things are different know between Spike and I. We're friends, possibly more," she said, softly. She met his eyes squarely. She was ready to fight him tooth and nail for what she believed in. He wasn't going to ruin this for her. She just couldn't allow someone to mess her life. And certainly not Angel. He had no right. Not anymore.

"Buffy, he's a soulless vampire," Angel growled. "What is wrong with you?!" She had totally lost her mind. He was already forming a plan to get Spike out of her life. He would be an awful influence on her. He knew he would.

"At least he was here through the worst fight of my life," Buffy said, flatly. "He loves me and he'd do anything for me. I could have lost my house Angel. I could have lost everything, and he made sure that Dawn and I were taken care of." She knew Angel wouldn't have much of an argument. He didn't really know Spike. Not like she did.

"You could've called me and I would've helped you," Angel said, "You don't need Spike." She needed to see tha reality that Spike was not the one for her. He needed to leave. Angel could give her anything she needed. Almost anything anyway.

"Angel, I know you care about me but look at him," she said, looking out the back door. Spike was leaning against the railing with Dawn in his lap. Dawn was snuggled up to Spike and he was running a hand over her hair. Buffy looked at Angel, "See? We do need him," she said. "He's everything that Dawn and I have ever wanted. He takes good care of us."

Spike came in with a sleeping Dawn in his arms. "I'm gonna go put her in bed," he said. He moved around them both and took his little girl upstairs. He carefully laid her in bed, removed her sneakers and pulled the comforter of her body. He smiled at her fondly but headed back down stairs. As he came into the kitchen, Angel growled. "Save your breath, Peaches. You haven't been involved with her for years. Now shouldn't make a difference," Spike said.

Angel growled again, "What do you know?" Spike didn't know anything about his relationship with Buffy. He had good reasons for leaving. At her funeral, things had been fine with Spike. But now it was different. He didn't think that Buffy would come back. He certainly didn't think that she would just jump into Spike's arms. What was this world coming to?

Spike crossed his arms, "I love her more then anything. And I was strong enough to deal with what happen and move on with life," he said, walking toward Angel, "You don't really love her. Not like I do," Spike said. "I was here, trying to make sure Dawn was gonna be okay and forced myself to be okay 'cause I was not gonna abandon her." Spike turned on his heel, and went out the front door with a slam.

Buffy looked heart broken as Spike left. She didn't even get to say anything to him as she dumbly reached for him as he had passed her in the kitchen. She knew this was a bad idea. "I thought…" She looked at Angel. "What was that about?"

Angel shrugged. "I'm not sure," he said. "At you're funeral, things were fine. We grieved, we got along. We accepted what happened. But I had to go back to L.A. Spike was pissed at me for leaving." But what could he do? He had to leave. It was just better that he moved on with his life. Spike, however, didn't see it that way.

"Oh," she said, softly. "He's a member of my family and I care about him. But I'll talk to him. Guess you guys can't really get along for me huh?" It was almost too good to be true, that everything could be easy. Nothing was easy anymore. That was the worst part about being back. Everything was too freaking hard. "Look, he's important to me and he's gone through hell for me." She was grateful that Angel hadn't tried to rip Spike's throat out, and that was a plus for her. She chatted with him for a few more minutes, but said her goodbyes with just a hug. He left peacefully and she went back inside. She wondered when Spike would be back. She missed him.

Spike came back inside about fifteen minutes later and found Buffy on the couch, "You're still up?" He had wanted to stay away, making sure that Angel was gone when he came back. He couldn't stand it anymore. It had been a tough choice. He needed to get away from Angel, but it had killed him to leave Buffy alone. He personally didn't think that she was ready to deal with him, but he couldn't tell her what to do.

Buffy looked up at him, "I was waiting for you," she told him, as she stood up. She didn't want to go to bed knowing that Spike was out. She would worry way too much. She knew he could take care of himself, but she couldn't help it. "Where did you go?" She tried not to sound like a pestering girlfriend or anything, but she couldn't help the way it came out.

"I was coming back," he said, locking the door before going over to her. He could see it in her eyes that she wasn't sure. She had been scared that he was going to leave her. Spike pushed her hair out of her face, "I just had to get away from him." He loved that she was worried about him. Made him feel like he really was wanted. The fact that Angle wasn't still here to beat the shit out of him, and Buffy was waiting for him, that was just even better.

Buffy smiled, "I explained to him the way things are now. It's hard to lose someone you love," she said. "And I made it clear to him that you're part of my life and he seemed to be okay with that. And he left." She reached out to touch his hand and squeezed it. "I tried to talk to you before you left, but you left before I could say anything. But I understand."

"Yes it is. And I hope I don't have to do it for a very long time 'cause, 'am not sure I can survive again," he said. He knew he wouldn't be able to survive if she died again. He would lose his mind if he didn't commit suicide first. Boldly, he put his hands on her hips. "But I am sorry I took off. I really didn't want to. But I hung close." Like he would go far while his girl was with her ex poof. He wasn't that stupid.

"Come on. Let's go to bed," she said, going into the kitchen. She locked the back door and killed the lights. She joined him at the bottom of the stairs and grabbed his hand before leading him upstairs. She was going to make this work. And she didn't care what Spike thought. Well, okay she did. But she was going to convince him that this was right.

Spike followed Buffy upstairs but paused at Dawn's door to check on her.

When he went to Buffy's room, she was brushing her hair. "Is Dawn sleeping?" She asked softly. She was still getting used to the idea of him being protective of Dawn. She knew he loved her, and she had seen a little bit of how he was with her last year, but this was went above and beyond all that.

"She can sleep through anything," Spike said, shrugging off his duster. He sat on her bed and looked at her. He loved watching her, especially brushing her golden locks. He sat nervously, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing. What did she want from him? Was she ready for anything right now? He really couldn't be sure.

"Lucky her," Buffy mumbled. She put her brush down and bent over to unzip her boots. She kicked them into the corner of her room and peeled off her shirt, revealing a black tank top underneath. She rolled her tense shoulders, and rubbed her neck. She really needed to start relaxing, or she was going to be a tense cookie for a very long time.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, shifting his legs as she revealed more skin to him. She was so beautiful. Not that she'd let him say it out loud. But it felt so natural to just watch her get ready for bed, when he knew he should leave her to her privacy. She just hadn't asked him to leave. But he didn't want to stare. Of course, he loved looking at her, and it was hard to look away, she was just so freaking beautiful.

"I don't sleep. I always have nightmares and flashes of being in my coffin. Sometimes I can't breathe," she whispered. She shrugged it off as if it was nothing and joined him on the bed. "I survive." She didn't want pity from Spike, or anything else. She just wanted to rest and forget her nightmares. She didn't want to dwell on them or share the detiails.

Spike wrapped his arms around her. "Wish there was something I could do," he said. He could pay her bills but he couldn't chase away her inner demons as much as he wanted to. He just couldn't and it killed him to see her in pain like she was. She seemed to not really want to talk about it and he could understand that. "You can tell me about them when you're ready. I don't need to know right now."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. She knew he wouldn't push her. He just knew what to do for her and what to say to help her feel better. How did he always know? "Will you stay with me?" She whispered. "I mean… we can just sleep." She blushed and pulled back. They weren't ready. "Never mind. You don't have to."

He gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Buffy," he said, softly. "I want to stay with you. I do. I just… I don't want you to feel pressured by me or anything. And I don't want to be with you out of gratitude for what I did for you." He wanted her to want to be with him. He wanted her to want him in her bed, and not out of gratitude. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

Buffy looked up at him. "That's not why I asked," she whispered. "I just miss you. And I've missed having you here." She looked at the bedspread and shuddered. "I'm lonely when you're not here. My friends don't come around, not that I really want them to. But I miss you. Even as a friend. And… I would really like it if you moved back in." She shifted and blushed. "You don't have to stay with me. It's just… the nights aren't as long if you're around."

Spike bit his lip. "I'll stay with you," he said, softly. "Even if it's just until you fall asleep. But I want you to be okay. And I told you I would take care of you and the Nibblet, if you would just let me." He was trying not to get his hopes up. It probably didn't mean anything, but he could wish. She seemed to genuinely care for him, and she didn't put on any kind of front when Angel was around. She seemed very serious about her decisions where he was concerned.

Buffy nodded. "You can stay here for the night if you want," she said, climbing out of bed. "I don't mind you being here. Makes me feel safer." She pulled the drapes closed, letting him know she was serious about her invite. "The bed's big enough. I know you wont take advantage of me or something." She turned to look at him. "And I wont be kicking you out or anything in the morning."

Spike opened his mouth to say something. "Buffy, I don't think it's a good idea for me to spend the night in here," he said. "I just don't think you're ready for that. Especially if you're having nightmares or something." He didn't want to make it worse for her. He didn't want to make her feel suffocated.

She rolled her eyes and approached him. She pushed him onto the bed and smashed her lips against his. "I think that it's a perfect idea for you to stay here," she said, smiling down at his shocked face. "I'm fine. But I'll be even better if you stay here with me. Please? Just stay with me?" She leaned down to nibble on his neck. "Please?"

He groaned her name. "Pet," he whispered. "Fine, you win. I'll stay with you." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him as he moved them up the bed. "That was cheating." She was going to be the death him. He mutter the word 'vixen' under his breath as they moved under the covers.

"You love it," she said snuggling into him. "Thanks for being here." She was so happy for finally getting him to loosen up and stay with her. She had been craving his presence. And she finally had it. And she wasn't going to lose it. It was just time to prove it to him.

"I'll always be here." He kissed her hair and purred softly against her cheek as it rested over his chest. And he knew he would always be by her side. Nothing would ever change that. Not Angel, and not her friends. He was here to stay. And he was a little closer to maybe getting what he always wanted. He was a little closer to being in Buffy's heart. And she was okay with that.


	5. Chapter 5

Spike leaned against the doorway and watched Dawn sulk at the table

Spike leaned against the doorway and watched Dawn sulk at the table. He couldn't believe what she had done tonight. Running around with boys. Vampire boys no less. Hadn't she any common sense? He could have lost her tonight and he knew if something happened to Dawn, Buffy would freak. She would definitely go over the deep end if something happened to her sister. When her friend's mom had called asking if she could talk to Janice, both Buffy and Spike had realized that a fast one had been pulled on them.

Both vampire and slayer had gone out to look for the girls and Spike couldn't tell what kind of mood Buffy was in. He tried to read her thoughts but it hadn't worked. She had driven him crazy and while they were out looking for Dawn he had to grab Buffy's arm and make her stop for a moment and get herself under control. If she didn't at least slow down and let him pick up Dawn's scent, they would get no where.

He had moved back into Buffy's house, after giving it a day of thought. It was a little strange at first, moving back into Joyce's old room, and it took a day or so to back into the groove. He loved his girls and loved being with them so it wasn't as hard as he thought. It was a little difficult saying goodnight to Buffy every night and going to separate rooms, but he knew that they couldn't rush into anything. He wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do. Some days were harder then others with her. Some days she was in a good mood and she was nice, other days it seemed like she was going to rip his head off.

Much to his dismay her friends had started to come around again and it kinda felt like she was avoiding him when they were around. She was tense and edgy after they left. She didn't really like them at her house; she had already told him that. But that didn't explain why she was edgy around him. He tried to show her some affection in front of her friends and she had brushed him off subtly. He couldn't figure out why she let him into her bed and kissed him, and move back in only to ignore him when her so called friends were around. He hadn't quite had a chance to talk to her about it yet, but he was sure there was an explanation for it.

On top of that, Dawn was acting up for whatever reason. He stared at her bowed head with an unreadable expression. She picked her head up but she couldn't meet his eyes. He looked up as Giles approached her but Spike reached out to grab his arm. "I'll handle it," he said, softly.

Giles raised an eyebrow. "I think I can handle a teenager Spike," he said, with a raised eyebrow.

Spike folded his arms as he saw Buffy come out of the kitchen out of the corner of his eye. "Rupes, we appreciate you being here and all, but we're her family and we can talk her about this," he said. The watcher didn't need to scold the slayer's sister. That didn't make any sense. Dawn would really feel like a little girl if they did that.

Buffy stepped up and took Giles to the living room and left Spike with Dawn. "Lil Bit," he said, going to kneel in front of her. Might as well start simple. He knew she had to have a reason for going out and lying about it. And if something was wrong then she had to tell someone. He would love it if she told him what was wrong so he could help her like he used to. But he wasn't sure that that was going to happen this time.

"I'm sorry," Dawn said, softly. He knew she knew she was in trouble. She had scared Spike many times over the summer and freaked him out and she knew what it did to him. He didn't usually yell at her or anything. Usually he just hugged her tight and told her he couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. And he wouldn't take her out for a day or so. But now it would be a lot different.

Spike's eyes softened and he pushed her hair back. "I know it's hard, but it'll get better." He was taking a shot in the dark at this point. He was guessing that she was still adjusting to everything that was happening. But he didn't know for sure. He just wanted her to know that he was there for her. He would always be there with her.

"How do you know?" Dawn asked, finally looking into his eyes. "Buffy's here and I knew Buffy was mad. And she hasn't really looked at me since we've gotten home."

"I love you and your sister, remember?" Spike said, with a smile. He needed to have some kind of hope. "If you wanna talk about something, you know I'll be here. I'm always here now. I would never want anything to happen to you. And Buffy's here too now. You can talk to her."

"I know," she said. "I just… nothing's like I thought it would be. Buffy's different, her friends aren't really here anymore. You keep moving out then coming back." She shrugged and looked at her hands in her lap. "I just wanted to do something fun for once. Something that's not depressing."

"Sneaking out with your friends, lying, and nearly getting yourselves killed doesn't qualify as fun," Spike said. "We can talk about this more in the morning. Go up and get some sleep." He got to his feet and looked down at her with calm eyes. Tonight was not the night to talk about it. He could tell. She needed some sleep and he needed to talk to Buffy. It would be best just to let it rest for now.

Dawn stood up also and she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Love you," she whispered. She hugged him tightly and sighed.

Spike smiled and kissed her forehead. "Good night Nibblet," he said, as she released him and headed toward the stairs. "Oh and Nibblet?" he asked, looking up at her from the foot of the stairs.

Dawn turned, half way up the stairs. "Yeah?"

"You're grounded," he said. He had to give her some kind of punishment right now. Grounding was the best thing he could think of at this point. It really wasn't like he could ask help from Buffy. She wouldn't know either. At least if Dawn was grounded she wouldn't be going anywhere and she would probably get the message that it wasn't a good idea to sneak around.

Dawn's eyes widened. "Spike," she whined. "I'm gonna lose all her friends, and I'll be… so unpopular. No one gets grounded anymore."

"For a week," Spike said, as Buffy came over to stand next to him. He hoped she hadn't decided to insert herself into the conversation. Or a conversation that was over. "You'll live. It won't be the end of the world. You already know what that's like. So count you're lucky stars."

"What's going on?" Buffy asked. "What did I miss?"

"She's grounded for a week," he said, glancing at his slayer. She looked tired, drained, like she needed to sleep for a long time. He would do anything to help her but he couldn't help her if she didn't tell him what was wrong. He seemed to have the problem with both the girls. They didn't tell him a bloody thing, just kept him in the dark. How was he supposed to help them if they didn't talk to him?

"You can't ground her," Buffy said, crossing her arms.

"Yes he can," Dawn said, miserably. She raised an eyebrow at Buffy. "It's not like you're gunna give me anything better."

Spike smiled. "Bed," he said.

Dawn grumbled but she went upstairs without saying much else other then a goodnight. It was easier this way.

Buffy looked at Spike. "I'm confused," she said. "I wanted to talk to her."

"Is she allowed to go to the park in the woods with a boy she just met and was a vampire?" Spike asked. He cocked his head as he looked at her. He felt like he was in trouble, maybe he just should have gone upstairs as well and went to bed. Let Buffy cool off. He didn't want to be on the other end of her wrath either.

"No but…" Buffy began. "I still wanted to talk to her. I can't have you taking care of everything like you're the only one in charge. It's not fair."

"No buts. She's grounded and she lied to us," he said. "I don't mind Buffy."

"But I wanted to talk to her, Spike" she said.

"You can," he said. "She needs us both to talk to her. But tonight it was better that she just went to sleep. What is the big deal?" He folded his arms as he glared at her. What was her problem? Did he really even want the answer to that question?

"I should have talked to her," she said. "I'm her sister."

"Why does it matter who talked to her?" He grumbled. It wasn't like he was incompetent with her. He knew what he was doing with her. He had done it enough times… sort of. Dawn had never really been in trouble over the summer, but Spike knew what she needed when she messed up.

(Buffy's POV)

Buffy ignored his question and climbed the stairs to Dawn's room. "Dawn?" She knocked on the door. She cursed herself for sounding like a bitch towards Spike. But she didn't think Spike should be the one to punish her sister. It didn't seem right. She wanted to talk to Dawn and make sure Dawn understood that what she did was dangerous. She couldn't risk anything happening to Dawn. She had enough to worry about with her life. She didn't need Dawn acting like a totally klepto on her.

Giles had given her every excuse in the book to stay, but there was no reason to. Giles wasn't Dawn's mother or father, and frankly neither was she or Spike, but Spike was right. They were her family and she needed them right now, not someone sticking their nose in her business.

"Go away," Dawn said.

"We need to talk," Buffy said, crossing her arms. She wasn't going to let Dawn just push her away. She was going to talk to her, no matter what. It wasn't right that she didn't get a say in what happened tonight.

Dawn opened the door. "Spike already grounded me. That's enough punishment," she said.

"Dawn, what were you thinking?" Buffy asked, pushing past her. "You could have been killed, or worse. Is that what you're trying to do?"

"I wanted to have fun for once," Dawn said. "You're always with Spike on patrol and I'm never allowed to go. I used to go with him all the time and he trained me really well. And then you guys are always going back and forth with each other, and I was getting tired of it. I feel like I'm being abandoned," Dawn whispered. "That's all your fault you know."

"How?" Buffy asked. This wasn't supposed to be about her. Now she was on the defensive about her how she treated Spike. And Spike took Dawn patrolling? How could he do that?

"Because you don't approve of him or something. Like he's not welcome. He took care of me all summer and you drove him away. Buffy, I love him and he loves us. He practically lived here and he was really upset when he lost you. I almost lost him because he was so devastated. You're going through a tough time and I get that, but Spike can help you through it," Dawn said. "I thought he was helping you. Then he keeps leaving, and he keeps coming back, and now you guys are fighting again."

"Dawn, he's a soulless vampire," Buffy said. Fuck. She didn't mean to say that. Not like it came out.

Tears filled Dawns eyes. "How can you say that?" She whispered in a horrified voice. She took a step back from her sister, as if she had been slapped.

"Cause it's true," Buffy said, softly. She looked startled as Dawn turned and ran from her room. Great.

(Spike POV)

Spike looked up when his door opened. "Nibblet, what happened?" He asked when he saw her crying. Apparently Buffy's talk with her hadn't gone that well. She climbed into his bed and curled up against his side. But she didn't say anything. Spike wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay," he whispered. "What are you doing up and about?"

Buffy appeared in the doorway and leaned against the doorjamb. "Dawn."

Well this wasn't going to go well, and Spike could feel the tension rise in the room. The girls had obviously had a fight and now he was stuck in the middle. Dawn was angry and Buffy had that look in her eyes, a blank look. It bothered him a little.

Dawn glared at Buffy. "Tell him what you said," she said, coldly, leaning against Spike with a sniffle.

Spike shifted in the bed and pulled Dawn closer to him. "Nibblet, calm down," he said, softly. "What's going on?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know. It seemed like a sister thing that he should stay out of, but he wasn't sure if he could help it.

Buffy crossed her arms. "Dawn, go to your room."

"Why so you can repeat everything you said to me? How he's a soulless vampire who's done nothing but love us and take care of us," she yelled, tears in her eyes. "Take care of you?!"

Spike looked up at Buffy with hurt eyes. "Nibblet go get some sleep," he said. This wasn't about Dawn and Buffy, it was about him and Buffy. Buffy apparently had issues with him that she still couldn't work though. He thought everything was going to be alright with them. He shook his head as Dawn opened her mouth to object and she got up without question. Spike looked at Buffy as Dawn went back to her room. He didn't know what to say. What could he say after what he had just heard?

"Spike, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that I'm just so lost and confused right now," she said taking a step toward him.

"But saying it to Dawn and upsetting her is not a smart idea," Spike replied. He and Dawn had a really close friendship and they were both protective of the other.

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I'm the one that's closest to her, even now that you're back," Spike grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Getting her upset is gunna lead to a huge fight."

"Spike, she's my sister. I know how to handle her."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you do. Did she tell you what happened when you were gone? She's not your baby sister who needs to be protected from a hell god. Not anymore. She's a grown woman and she can take care of herself," he said, standing up. He did not want to fight with Buffy. He hated fighting with her and it seemed like she had a lot of anger building up inside of her that she had to let out.

"And you would know all about that wouldn't you?" Buffy asked, angrily.

"Yeah, I would," Spike said, holding his ground as he stared down at her. "You asked me to take care of her and I did! I did what you asked and just because I got close to her and formed a bond with her that you can't break, that does not mean that you get to ruin that." Why she would want to, he had no idea. He thought she was okay with him being in both her life and Dawn's life, but he must have been wrong.

"You let her patrol?" She asked. "How could you do that? She's not a slayer!"

"Yeah so? It's not like I ever let her go alone," Spike muttered. He was digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. That's just what he needed. "She's not a baby. Buffy, you told me to take care of her and I did. I have a connection with her and I love her. I would never put her in danger."

"Neither would I," Buffy said. "Spike, I know you took care of her while I was gone but you don't have to anymore."

"I know I don't have to. Buffy, you may not realize it but everyone else does. I'm a part of Dawn's life and she needs me," Spike said. "What the hell did you have me move back in for?" He knew this was a bad idea, having him back into her house, and he knew that she had been right the whole time.

"You told me you practically lived here, but you failed to mention that you almost killed yourself cuz you were so upset when I died. Dawn thinks I caused you to abandon her and I'm driving you away," she said. "When you're the one that keeps leaving and I missed you. I like having you here. That's why I asked you to move back in."

"I'm not abandoning her and I never left because of you," Spike said, softly. "And I sat next to your grave the day of the funeral. Dawn had to drag me home because I didn't wanna leave you by yourself. But I got better, and I tried to get over what happened, but I didn't. And I got close to Dawn because of that and I haven't let anyone destroy that."

Buffy backed off a little bit. "I didn't know you felt that way," she said.

"How did you think I felt?" Spike asked. Had she totally lost her mind? What did she think it had been like for him? He had been devastated and Dawn had been the only able to help him through his grief.

"I don't know," she said, going to sit on the bed. "I missed you while I was gone but I didn't think things were gunna be the same. Nothing is the same and it's got me all confused."

Spike crossed his arms and glared down at her. "Then I didn't do anything to make you think that I'm still a soulless vampire?" He couldn't figure out why she would say that. What had he done that was so bad that she could change her mind so quickly about him?

"Spike, you are," Buffy said.

Spike rolled his eyes and he moved away from her. "I'm going out," he said. He had to get away from her. He felt like his heart was falling out of his chest into a million little pieces and all he wanted to do was greet the sunshine.

"Spike?" Buffy asked, but he ignored her and left.

Buffy stood up and went to bed with tears in her eyes. He didn't even let her finish. At least he didn't say he was moving out. She crawled into bed and tried to sleep, knowing she wouldn't be able to.

The next morning, Buffy grimaced as bright sunshine flowed across her bad and her face. She stretched and rubbed her swollen eyes. She didn't think she would be able to fall asleep but she felt like it was only for an hour or so. She made her way to Spike's room, hoping he had come home and they could talk. She knocked on the door and waited. "Spike?" She called.

Spike opened the door and crossed his arms. "What?" He asked, softly. He looked like he hadn't slept at all, and she couldn't blame him. She didn't really sleep either. His eyes were bloodshot and he was heartbroken. She wanted to reach out and touch him, and tell him she was sorry and she wanted to make it up to him.

"I wanted to apologize for last night," Buffy said, wringing her hands. "You left and I wasn't finished. Because the way I said it, made Dawn take it the wrong way. I'm sorry, I just didn't think about what I was saying." She folded her arms, trying to make him understand.

"I don't need to hear the rest," Spike said, going to sit on the bed.

"But I'm right. You didn't get a soul unless you just felt like not telling me," she said. He just had to make this very difficult. She didn't mean for anything to come out like that. But leave it up to Dawn and Spike to gang up on her and make her like the bad guy.

"I didn't go get a soul," he said. "So what? Doesn't change the way I feel."

"I never said you didn't feel. I know you can love," she whispered. She took a step toward him, trying to come up with another plan to make him understand where she was coming from. She wasn't good with the words, so she was pretty sure that she was going to have to use actions instead because he wasn't getting her message.

"You're being technical, Buffy," he said. "I've done everything for you and I don't understand how you can still treat me like this," he said, softly.

She growled and pushed him back onto the mattress. Climbing onto his solid body, she kissed him softly. Her hands tangled in his hair and she rubbed her whole body against his. She gently licked his lips and groaned when he opened his mouth under hers. She felt his hands fist in her golden locks as his body relaxed underneath her. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that because I didn't mean it in the way that you and Dawn made it sound. Please, I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not. I'm just confused," he said, panting unnecessarily. "Esepcially after that."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, burying her face in his neck as a blush crept up her neck and cheeks. That was a bold move on her part. She nibbled softly over the soft skin where his pulse should be. "Please, I need you. And I had to get your attention. Guess it worked." His body was tense with desire beneath her soft curves.

Spike wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "It did at that," he said, kissing her hair. "God I love you."

Lifting her head, she kissed him again. "I know you do," she said. "Please forgive me? Or should I make it up to you some more?" Her body was buzzing with desire and she felt like she should still be kissing him, but she didn't want to rush. But god, he was such a good kisser. She had no idea that kisses could turn her on like that.

"Don't have much choice after that," he said with a smirk as he rolled them over, kissing her hungrily. "But I could use some convincing."


	6. Chapter 6

Spike kicked the door down to the bronze and stalked into the place

Spike kicked the door down to the bronze and stalked into the place. "Dawn!" He was furious. Not only had Dawn gotten herself in trouble, again, but Buffy's friends were pissing him off. He had stood behind Buffy has her friends told her that they weren't going to help her rescue Dawn and he wished he didn't have the chip in his head. Just to beat the crap out of them. He had left the magic shop telling her friends that he'd find Dawn himself. He was going to nail her feet to the floor of the house when he got her home. Buffy still hadn't told her friends that they were a couple, but she didn't hide it either. She sat next to him when they were around, but no one had caught them doing any coupley things yet. Buffy told him she wasn't going to offer the information but if they found out she would deal with it. Things between the blondes had gotten a little better in the past week since he had grounded Dawn. They talked a lot, especially Buffy. He really thought she was starting to trust him. It was more then he could ask for.

"Spike, I didn't do anything," Dawn said, frantically. "I swear."

"Don't worry, Lil Bit. I'm not gunna let anything happen to you," he said, leaning against the pool table, crossing his arms. There were so many other things he wanted to say to that girl, but now was not the best time. He was itching for a fight and he watched various minions move around the room. Times like this he needed eyes in the back of his head. "He's not a match for a master vampire."

"A vampire," Sweet said, clasping his hands together. "How interesting. But still. You won't be able to beat me."

"How about a slayer?" Came Buffy's voice as she stalked into the bronze.

Spike didn't even acknowledge her as he walked towards the stage. "Let her go," he growled. He could feel his demon raging to come out and hurt this red serenading freak that hurt his girls.

"She summoned me. I don't make the rules," Sweet said.

Spike bent at the knees and jumped on the stage with feline grace. "Dawn, go to your sister," he said, ready to attack should she be held back. "Rules change." He saw Dawn rush off the stage out of the corner of his eyes and he relaxed a little knowing she would be safe. However when Buffy appeared at his side, he glanced at her. She sat in the chair next to Sweet, which Dawn had just vacated. He raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing, Pet?" He didn't like the look on her face or the actions she was making.

"I have to go in Dawn's place," she said. "We both know a sacrifice has to be made?"

Had she totally lost her mind? What was he thinking? Of course she had. "Buffy, ever heard of just killing him?" He asked. "We don't even know that Dawn caused this." He didn't look as he heard her friends join them in the bronze. Good. Maybe Willow could do something, break the spell or whatever had been put on them.

"Don't make this harder," Buffy said, looking away from him.

"Buffy, we need you," Dawn whimpered.

Spike looked at her and sighed. "Dawn…" Buffy was serious.

"No, we already lost her once. Spike, we can't lose her again," Dawn screamed. "You know we can't."

Spike looked at Buffy before jumping off the stage. He was torn with staying and shaking some sense into his slayer and comforting Dawn. He pulled Dawn into his arms. "It'll be okay," he said. "We'll figure this out."

Buffy stood up and began to sing.

"Right now I feel- just like a leaf on a breeze

Who knows where it's blowin'

Who knows where it's goin'

I find myself somewhere I- I never though I'd be

Goin' round in circles

Thinking about you and me"

Spike looked up at her as he listened to her sing. He could already feel the spell affecting him as well and he really did not want to sing in front of her friends. She didn't want to leave him. She was happy with him. He knew she was. He could see the tears welling in her eyes as she tried to tell him how she felt.

Buffy continued. "How do I explain it

When I don't know what to say

What do I know- so much has changed."

Spike released Dawn and walked towards Buffy. He began singing to her.

"Nothing I have ever known- has made me feel this way

Nothing I have ever seen- has made me wanna stay

But here I am- ready for you."

Then they both began to sing.

"I'm torn 'n, I'm falling- I hear my home calling

Hey- I've never felt something so strong-

Oh no.

It's like nothing I've ever known."

Buffy stood at the edge of the stage and Spike stood below her on the floor as she sang,

"Now you're the one I'm looking for

You're the one I need

You're the one that gives me- a reason to believe

Following a star- has lead to where you are

It feels so strong now- this can't be wrong now."

Both Buffy and Spike began to sing together.

"Nothing I have ever known- has made me feel this way

Nothing I have ever seen- has made me wanna stay

But here I am- ready for you

I'm torn 'n I'm falling- I hear my home callin'

Hey- I've never felt something so strong- oh no

It's like nothing I've ever known."

Tears slid down Buffy's face as he backed away from him.

"It's like nothing I've ever known

Right now I feel- just like a leaf on a breeze

Who knows where it's blowin'

Who knows where I'm goin'"

Sweet smiled. "That was lovely," he said.

"Shut up," Buffy growled, sitting back down.

"I didn't summon you," Dawn said, suddenly.

Spike looked at the young girl. "What do you mean?" Her outburst had snapped his thoughts from Buffy to the situation at hand.

"He said I summoned him and I didn't," Dawn said, going over to him.

"You're wearing my talisman," Sweet said.

Dawn looked down at her necklace. "Oh, I found this in the shop when I was cleaning. I just forgot to take it off," she said. She removed it and handed it to Spike when he came over to her. She sniffled as his arm went around her shoulder.

"If it was in the shop," Giles said. "Then one of us must have…"

After a few moments, Xander raised his hand.

"Xander!" Anya exclaimed.

"Well, I didn't know what was gunna happen. I thought there were just gunna be dances and songs. I just wanted to make sure we'd work out. Have a happy ending," Xander said.

"Well that's a twist," Sweet grumbled.

"Does this mean I have to be your queen?" Xander asked.

"It's tempting but I think we can make an exception. Just this once. Congratulations everyone. You beat the bad guy," he said, and then vanished.

Spike looked at Dawn then at Buffy. Her stupid friends, once again, had done this. Trying to interfere in things that were none of their business. And he could have lost one of his girls. Had they learned nothing from their past mistakes with magic? He walked back over to the stage where Buffy was standing on the edge. He raised his blue eyes to her green ones. "You okay?" When she extended her arms he placed his hands on her hips to help her down. He set her on the floor next to him, but she didn't stop out of his arms. It was time to face the music, so to speak. Her friends would no doubt miss the display of affection that was occurring right in front of their stupid faces.

"Spike, I meant what I sang," she said in a whispered tone. "You're so different then when I left and I don't know how to adjust to it. And we've had a lot of problems since then and I'm trying really hard to work through them. Not sure if I'm doing this right."

He smiled down and kissed her forehead. "You're doing fine," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. "We're doing fine. These things take time Buffy." And he knew that. He had been in love with her for almost a year and now she was finally willing to give him what he's always wanted. But he couldn't push her. After all the pain she had been put through in the past, it was going to take some patience on his part to break down all those walls she had built around herself.

She released a shaky sigh and nodded. "I'm going to tell them," she said, turning to look at the rest of the group. "There's something you need to know. About where I was," she said, and Spike put a hand on her back to give his support. He knew how hard this was for her. "I wasn't in hell. I- I was in heaven."

Willow gasped. "What?" She whispered, taking a step toward her. "How can that be?"

"I was happy. When I came back, I was scared and confused. Spike was and still is the only one I feel safe with. That's why he's moved in with us and is always around. I'm sorry guys," Buffy said. She glanced at Spike before reaching out to grab his hand in hers. "And he's important to me."

Spike kissed her hair. "I'm gunna get Dawn home. Are you staying here?" He figured she'd want some time to talk to her friends now that both cats were out of their bags. He was surprised that no one had thrown a stake at him yet. Must be the shock.

"No, I'm coming," she said, glancing at her friends. But she didn't say anything before she followed him and Dawn out of the club. He knew that this wasn't that easy. Eventually they would realize what she had just said and be right up her ass trying to talk her out of her decision to be with him. He smiled to himself when Buffy pressed herself up against his side. It really couldn't get better then this. Dawn under one arm, Buffy under the other? Unlife was really, really good.

Once at home, Dawn excused herself to change into some pajamas then she would head to bed. Spike said goodnight and headed to the kitchen, for what, he still didn't know. But when Buffy followed him, he was almost worried.

"Are you okay?" She asked, lingering in the doorway with folded arms.

He approached her slowly and pulled her into his arms. She looked like she needed some reassurance and he knew he was right when she relaxed instantly in his arms. "I'm fine," he said into her hair. "What about you?" He knew how hard today had been for her. His hands traced invisible patterns over her red shirt as he held her against him. He felt her nod against him and took that as an 'I'm fine' and he smiled before lifting her up in his arms. "Time for bed kitten." He got no argument from her as he carried her up to her room. He carefully set her on her bed and kissed her softly. "I love you," he whispered, before he left her room. It was best not to overwhelm her after such a long day. He checked on Dawn who was out like a light before going to his room for some much needed sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Spike bust through the door of the magic shop and everyone looked at him funny

Spike burst through the door of the magic shop, smoking under his blanket. When he put the few flames out he glanced around the room and everyone was looking at him funny. They obviously didn't expect him to be here. Even after Buffy had told her friends where she had been and that she wanted to be with him, they still seemed unwilling to accept her choice. Spike had honestly thought they would show up at the house, trying to stake him in his sleep but they hadn't. He was surprised that her friends had lasted two days without making her life miserable.

"What are you doing here Spike?" Xander asked.

"Buffy asked me to be here," Spike answered, walking down the stairs. He wanted to make a retort but he figured that Buffy wouldn't appreciate that. His eyes darted around looking for his girl, but she was no where to be seen. He was about to ask where she was when the door of the training room opened. Her scent assaulted his senses and he made his way toward her. However, he didn't expect her to rush to his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. "You okay, Pet?" He asked. He knew she wasn't, but he wanted to want to tell him. Not demand it from her. He glanced around and noticed that Giles had come out of the training room as well. So he was responsible.

"Giles is leaving. He's moving back to England," Buffy whimpered against his neck.

Spike could have ripped the watcher apart. That was the last thing Buffy needed right now. She was in a very delicate state of mind, and even Spike had some difficulty dealing with her, but he loved her. Unconditionally. Leaving her was not an option. It shouldn't be an option for anyone. Spike knew that not having Giles could be very devastating for Buffy.

Giles came out of the training room and frowned at Buffy in Spike's arms. "Buffy you have to see that this for the best," he said.

Buffy turned to face Giles. "Abandoning me?!" She flared. "How is that for the best?"

Spike rested his hands on her shoulders. "Pet calm down and let's discuss this," he said. He didn't want her to get worked up until they could sit down and talk about what happened. He wanted to make Giles understand that Buffy needed him here. No matter what the watcher thought was best.

"How can you say that?" Buffy asked, glaring at him.

"You're upset and not thinking rationally," Spike said, softly. This wasn't going to end well. He knew Buffy was upset and she was going to lash out. And it looked like she was going to lash out at him. This was going to put a damper on the relationship he was trying so hard to make work with her.

"Why are you taking his side?" She flared, moving away from him. "After what happened? I trusted you."

"I know you did and I'm not taking anyone's side." The look in her eyes was enough to break his heart. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her, and she thought that's what he was trying to do. Like he said, this thing with Buffy required a lot of patience on his part. This would be so much easier if they were alone though. He wasn't sure displaying massive amounts of affection in front of her friends would benefit him.

"You're supposed to be on my side. God you're just like the rest," she snapped.

Spike backed off with hurt in his eyes. If that's how she really felt what in the world was he even doing here then? He wanted to think that she was just really upset and didn't mean what she said, but this was what he was afraid of. He was afraid that she would one day realize that he wasn't what she wanted and leave him. But he never wanted to b compared to everyone else that had ever left her.

Buffy sighed and took a step toward him. "Spike, I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching out to grab his hand. "I didn't mean that."

He sighed and tugged her closer to him, trying to comfort her as much as himself as he could. He thought he was best that they leave, but the watcher had other ideas.

"Buffy," Giles interrupted. "Perhaps we should talk about this."

"And say what Giles?" Buff asked, turning around with tears in her eyes.

At that moment, Tara and Buffy fainted. Spike barely caught Buffy as she collapsed. What the hell? He carefully lowered her to the floor as everyone else went crazy. He didn't bother to look at anyone else as he ran his hands over Buffy making sure she wasn't hurt. He checked her head, which didn't have any lumps or bumps, so there was no obvious reason for her to faint. Dawn appeared by his side and he glanced up at her. "I think she's alright," he said. "She just passed out." He was about to ask Willow about Tara when Buffy stirred. "Buffy?"

Her eyes fluttered open and her green eyes clashed with his blue ones. But they were different. She was confused and open. "Who are you?" She asked, looking at Spike as he helped her into a sitting position.

"You don't know me?" Spike asked, confused, looking at everyone else then back at Buffy. Great. She had no memory. Now what? And the way she was looking at him, like she was going to jump his bones the first chance he got. He knew Buffy was attracted to him, but now it was clear. She had the hots for him and was a little shy about it.

Buffy shook her head. "No, but you're cute," she said then she blushed. "Sorry."

She was so cute when she blushed. But she wasn't wrong. "Handsome is more like it, Luv," he said, with a smirk. "Think you can stand?" He wanted to tell her straight off the bat that he was her boyfriend but he knew her friends would start trying to convince her that he was a liar and everything would be ruined. It was best just to help her through this and try to figure out who would do this.

Buffy nodded and as Spike was helping her to her feet, Tara stirred. "What happened?" Tara asked, groggily as she rubbed her head.

"Tara?" Willow asked carefully.

"Yeah?" Tara asked, looking at Willow.

"You remember us?" Xander asked as he took a step toward the fallen witch. Spike watched as Xander helped her to her feet and he knew something wasn't right. He could feel it in his bones.

"Why wouldn't I?" Tara asked.

"Cuz Buffy doesn't," Dawn said, frantically. Spike glanced at her and wished he could do something to calm her down but he hadn't the faintest idea. Buffy was clinging to his arm like a scared little girl. He liked that he could protect her, but on the other side, the one thing he liked about the regular Buffy was that she didn't need help. She could take care of herself.

Tara looked at Buffy. "I feel powerful magic around her," she said, then looked at Willow. "You did it anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Giles asked.

"Last night, I told Willow no more magic because she wanted me to forget we had a fight and she wanted Buffy to forget she was in heaven," she said, accusingly.

"Rupert!" Spike yelled. He was not surprised to find that someone had done a powerful spell on his slayer, but he was surprised that Willow had done another spell to interfere in Buffy's life. He shouldn't have been surprised but he was. Enough was enough. He ignored the blonde that jumped next to him and address the older man. Older then her anyway. How could Willow be so selfish? Did she not care about anything? Did she not care that her friend was in pain?

"What?" Giles asked, a little shocked by the vampire's outburst.

"Do something. Don't you think it's bad enough what she had to go through with being ripped out of heaven? Don't you think this has gone on long enough? Shouldn't they just leave her be to get over this in her own time?" he growled at Willow and Xander. Every freaking time he turned around they were doing another spell to try and fix Buffy's life. They just couldn't accept that Buffy was interested in him and wanted to be with him and they were willing to do anything to make sure that didn't happen.

Buffy cowered towards Spike at his anger. "Please, stop yelling," she whispered.

"Sorry, Pet," he said, slipping his arms around her. He didn't realize that he was scaring her and obviously not having her memories was making her weak. He hated seeing her like this. He was so used to seeing her strong and confident. He wanted to wring her friends' necks but he knew when she did get her memories back she would be mad at him. Not to mention the severe head ache he would develop.

"I was just trying to help," Willow said, softly. "She's so different and everyone knows it, Spike. She should be coming to us for help. Not shacking up with you." Spike growled as her dangerous eyes bored into his. He wasn't afraid of her, magic or not. It wouldn't take much for him to spread the word to the demon community about her and they would take her out. But she didn't know that.

"I think you've done enough," Giles said to Willow. He looked at Spike who had what look to be a very scared blonde girl cowering behind his muscular frame. "Spike, take Buffy to the training room. I don't wanna scare her."

Spike nodded and took Buffy's hand. He wanted to stay and be a part of the fight that he knew was going to take place, but he knew it was better that he went with Buffy and kept her calm. There were going to many questions from the slayer and he just hoped he could answer them without scaring her. He was surprised when she followed him willingly and he kept his ears honed in on the shop as he closed the door behind him.

Giles waited 'til the door closed before looking at Willow. "Willow, did you not learn anything?" He flared.

"I'm sorry," Willow said, crossing her arms. "But you know that I'm right. It's not natural for Spike to be living with her all the time. He's effecting her judgement. How can you allow that."

"Buffy and I both wanted Spike in the house, Willow," Dawn said, softly. "We needed him. He helps out around the house while Buffy patrols. He takes care of me and he helps with the bills. Something that you weren't doing and that's why you aren't there anymore."

Willow glared at the younger Summers' girl. "Buffy wasn't up front with me about her money problems Dawn. I'm her best friend and she should have come to us for help. Not Spike." She looked at Giles. "I think we should take care of him so things can start getting back to normal with Buffy." She glanced at Xander. "Don't you agree Xander?"

Xander bit his lip. "I'm the first one to say that I don't like Spike and I think he should stay away from Buffy but I'm not sure how we're going to do that. But I do think that since she's been back, that something's wrong and she should be talking to us and not letting Spike brain wash her. I think we should spend more time with her and help with whatever Spike is doing then she won't need him."

"Reverse it," Giles commanded looking at Willow. "She needs her memories Willow. You can't be playing God with her life. This could be dangerous. What if the end of the world was tomorrow? We wouldn't have a slayer."

Willow sighed and took out the crystal before dropping it on the floor. She crushed it under her foot. "I just wanted her to forget that she was in heaven then she wouldn't be so depressed. Then maybe she would leave Spike alone."

In the training room, Spike and Buffy had been sitting on the ratty old green couch but Buffy had been very quiet. Spike was unsure of what to say to her and when he was about to ask her if she was alright, she inhaled sharply and her breathing labored. "Pet?" He asked, resting a hand on her back. "What's wrong?"

Buffy rubbed her face as she looked at him. "The spells broken," she whispered. "Was like watching my life flash before my eyes. Not pleasant."

He pulled her against him and kissed her hair. Remembering all the pain she went through, was no doubt hard on her. Especially after all she had done to try and forget and move on from those memories. "Anything I can do?" He asked, rubbing her arm.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry about earlier," she whispered, nuzzling her head in the crook of his neck. "But you were right. I was just… I was upset."

"Don't worry about it," Spike said, pushing her hair back so he could look in her eyes. "Red tried to make you forget that you were in heaven." The last thing he wanted was for another fight or any more pain added to what she was going through, but he had never lied to her and he wasn't about to start now. Not when she trusted him.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Didn't work right. You lost all your memories," Spike said. His anger was starting to come back full force now that he didn't have to worry about scaring her. He had a feeling that he would never be able to be with her without interference. Every time they made another step together, they had a road block because of her friends. There was so much he wanted to do with Buffy, so much he wanted to show her, and it was never good enough.

"I think its time to have a chat with my friends," she said, standing and going to the front of the shop and she had a purpose.

Everyone looked at her as she came out with Spike. "Buffy?" Giles asked.

"Giles, can you please stay? Just a little bit longer. I can't trust the rest of my friends," Buffy said. She wouldn't be able to handle her watcher leaving, Spike knew that. Esepcially after what had just happened, Rupert couldn't possibly want to leave knowing that Willow was out of control with her magic.

Giles looked at her then at Spike who nodded. "Yeah, I'll stay but you have to take charge of your own life," he said.

Spike felt some relief spread through him. Rupert apparently didn't talk to Buffy often or he would know that she was doing the best she could. It was too much for one girl to handle all by herself and it was going to take some time for Giles to understand that. But Spike was going anywhere and if anyone had a problem with that, then they had a problem.

"Oh, I am," Buffy said, looking at her friends and Dawn. "Dawnie, please don't think that this has anything to do with you. You didn't do this to me. And you know that things have been better with Spike around. Regardless of whatever everyone else says"

Dawn nodded. "Are you okay?" She asked, taking a step toward her sister.

"Yeah. No thanks to the rest of you," Buffy said, facing the 4 people who tore her out of heaven. Willow opened her mouth to spill some excuse but Buffy wouldn't have any of it. "Save it," Buffy growled. "I can't believe you Willow. Haven't you caused me enough pain?"

"I didn't mean to cause you any pain," Willow said. "I just wanted you to come to us for help instead of Spike."

Spike couldn't help but roll his eyes as Dawn nudged him in the stomach with her elbow. He knew he had her support, all the way. He could always count on Dawn to be on his side, which was definitely in his favor. Buffy liked that he was good with Dawn and he was close to her. She didn't have to worry about Dawn because she knew that he would be taking care of her.

"But you did," Buffy said. "You pulled me out of heaven and just expect me to get over it. This is who I am. Willow I am in so much pain that instead of taking it out on you, I'm taking it out on the people who weren't involved. All they are trying to do I help and take care of me."

"So are we," Xander said coming to Willow's defense.

"No, you're trying to make me get over the fact that I was happy. The only reason you guys want me to get over it because you feel guilty. I understand you guys wanted me around and you didn't know what I was going through. But Willow, you should've respected the laws of death. Not only that, you should have just let me be once you found out I was happy. You're the one who is still trying to save me when I don't need to be saved. I'm fine the way I am right now. It's just taking some time."

"And I told you last night not to do anymore magic, Willow," Tara said, softly. "You promised me a week. You couldn't… You tried to make me forget our fight but it didn't work. And you tried to make Buffy forget that she was happy. Why do you keep manipulating people to fit your life?"

"Tara I'm sorry," Willow said, going toward her girlfriend. "I just wanted things to go back to normal."

"My God, Willow. Do you not see what you're doing?" Tara asked. "I thought if I told you that you were using too much magic you'd stop."

Buffy looked at Giles. "Giles, I don't know what to do," she said, truly lost. Spike rested a hand on her shoulder. He felt he had done her part and that Rupert should step up as well. Willow needed help and what Buffy and Tara were saying wasn't sinking in at all.

"I think Dawn should go home," Giles said.

"Can I take her?" Tara asked. "I need to get out of here."

Dawn looked up at Spike and he nodded. He felt a little proud that she looked to him for permission. It was daylight out. There wasn't much trouble she could get into with Tara. Dawn said goodbye to him and Buffy before leaving with Tara. "Why'd you want Nibblet to leave?"

Giles sighed and removed his glasses. "I don't think its fair that we have a fight in front of her," he said. "She doesn't need to be exposed to this."

Xander looked from Willow to Buffy. "Buff, I'm sorry," he said taking a step toward her.

Spike really couldn't care if Xander was sorry or not. Xander was the one person that Spike new would come between him and Buffy. He knew the boy had a thing for Buffy and would be jealous of anyone that tried to get close to her. Even when he had his own girl, she wasn't Buffy. His hand tightened on Buffy's shoulder, but not painfully. She knew his feelings about Xander.

"I know. You're all sorry but that's not gunna make it better. I'm not going to let anyone you mess around with my life," Buffy said, softly. "Why would anyone think that I deserve an eternity in hell? What did I do that was so wrong?" she asked. "And Tara? You saw what Glory did to her! If you guys had a fight, you don't try to make the other forget it, Willow. I fight with Spike all the time. I smack him and that's the end of it."

"Hey," Spike said in protest. Not that it wasn't true, but he didn't want to be dragged into the middle of this. He had a reputation to protect and he didn't like people saying that he got bested by a girl. It didn't look good for his Big Bad image.

Buffy glanced up at him and smiled. "What? That's what happens and you know it," she said. "But I guess we don't really fight that much anymore."

"Buffy?" Willow cut in. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stop using magic to change my life," Buffy answered. "I kicked you out for a reason. Spike and I have something Willow and nothing you or anyone else do, is going to change that. I'm happy with him, doesn't that count for something?" She didn't wait for an answer as she looked at Giles. "I'm gunna head out. Tomorrow I'd like to talk to you about some stuff."

Giles smiled a little. "I'll come to your house," he said.

Spike smiled as Buffy gave her watcher a hug. This was good. Buffy needed her watcher on her side, not on the other side of the world. His eyes followed her as she came up to him and took his head. "Come on. I don't know the sewers and I'd rather you weren't able to fit in an ash tray," she said.

He squeezed her hand as they took the sewers back to her house. He tried to ignore the tingles on his own neck as the left the shop. Something told him that Willow hadn't heard a word Buffy had said.


End file.
